Welcome to Romance and Relationship

This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

Feel free to leave comments on my blog and how I might make it better.

Thanks for visiting Have a great day and God Bless

from movie "Something New"

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Best Things in Life are Free!!!

Hello All,
It seems that in life people like to coin the phrase "the best things in life are free", but I wonder if they have really thought things through. I mean nothing in life is free, not even breathing. Yes we breath but the cost is the carbon dyoxide in our lungs being exchanged for fresh oxygen.
On Christmas we have a cost as well. God gave his son to die for us. so how is it free to have salvation when it cost another his life? Granted Jesus layed down his life for us willingly but it did still cost. So it maybe "free to us" but it cost the Blood of the only perfect man.
My point is this: many times we over simplify or choose to disregard the cost because the cost does not affect us directly.
This time of year people give more and pass it off as doing good works but then after the holiday is over they go back to the "me" set of mind. I know I tend to think of me more through the year but I still try to be others minded. I think this is an example of the war we fight within relationships as well. When we make choices do we consiter the others in our lives or do we just look at what pleases us only. I'm not saying some "me" time is bad we all need "me" time to some extent, but to have the others mind frame would make things better I think. Sometimes being a blessing to another is the best gift we can give, but it costs us time and energy to give to the other, so even then it is not free.
Maybe I'm looking to deep in to things or maybe not deep enough but just a though that came to me today as Christmas came to be.
Merry Christmas May God Bless You Greatly.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Hello All sorry for the absence.

Hey All,
well things have been busy. the winter this year has been cold lately. I have been able to spend time with a friend and his wife inbetween working and taking care of the house. I'm looking to leave Washington in April and to be in Florida by mid April. things with My Queen and I are ever Growing and thriving. We miss one another but we both know we are worth the wait. I completed the supervisor qualifications at my work so now I am a Professional Security Officer.

I have been reading the news and I have a question: When did a 9 year old boy get the term "ladies' man" I have not read his book but it seems to be rather ironic to me. So who has read the book on relationships from a 9 year old? What did you think?

I give props to the young man but i find it humorous he found the material for his book on the playground. so what are your thoughts?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Plans of Mice and Men

Hello Everyone,
Well the second job is finally over and I was able to save up almost all the money I needed. Sadly the best laid plans of mice and men happened and I had to spend quite a lot to get my transmission rebuilt. It seems I had no second gear oh well at least I will have a great running truck when I drive cross country to be with My Queen.
I’m hoping to be moving in March or April to Florida. Anyway not much else happened and I was able to retain some of the money I just have to save up some more and I should have enough to get there and start a new life there. I’m hoping to start writing again and who knows maybe work on a book.
Since thanks giving and Christmas are around the corner I would like to say something about Family.
Family is a funny thing no matter how much they annoy you, you always let it slide for the most part. Their family what can you do. I say this because it seems like my parents are being driven nuts by me wanting to be with My Queen, My brother has not graced us with his presence in over 7 years and my sister and her husband are driving each other nuts. But hey that’s family. No matter how much we drive each other nuts we are willing to forgive and forget as long as it is not too far. But I have heard of brothers taking another brothers girlfriend and even worst stuff and all I can say is any one who would take your brother over you or your sister over you is not worthy of you. But I thank God every day I have a beautiful, amazing Black Woman who can endure a lot and still keep on. So props to all of the strong Black women who can endure hardships and still love.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Final Blow Out

Hello All,
Well as you can guess from the title there was a blow out at work. Mike decided to dishonor my Queen with racial undertones and I called him a name reserved for female dogs. He got mad got in my face and when I did not back down he took a swing which in sued in a fight. After some time of me not backing down and him throwing punches and kicks, he started trying to headbutt me. He tried kicking me in the groin, the leg and so on but when it did not work he started other low handed tactics. The only real blow from him a headbutt, broke my nose. After that the higher ups were notified and he was fired. Police were called and reports filed.
The police say I started the fight for calling him a name and that we both may be charged with disorderly conduct. Now where is the justice? he can getaway with saying “your girl is ugly because she is black.” And that is not merit for starting a fight! When did lawlessness and dishonor become part of out police force?
Anyway I defended My Queens honor and thankfully I still have a job. My nose will heal fine and the trouble maker is gone. Life goes on and the best part My Queen was flattered that I fought for her honor.
Well that’s all for now. Take care and watch out for what you say Cops may arrest you for it with some garbage charge.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Trouble in the work place.

Hello All,
ever have one of those days when all you want to do is go to work, do your job and go home. Yeah me too, sadly for the past few weeks I have been hounded by a guy names mike. first it was becuse i was a secutity guard then about my hair then about whatever he could find. latly though he has been even worse going off about things and even calling others a offensive term for a Black person. Which of corse I am not a fan of rasist to begin with. I reported him to my supervisor. so we will see what happens.
As a man I want to brake every bone in his body and leave him in a ditch, but as a Christian I am trying not to fight the guy and turn the other cheek. I always wonder why people act in ways they do in Mikes case I think it was partially from birth and then mix in the heavy drugs he has braged about taking. Some times people just confuse me.
Over all the second job is going ok I'm tired alot and having to deal with mike is not helping the situation. I wonder why some people don't just do thier job and go home and relax and play. Why make it harder for every one around you by playing at work and not doing the work? When I'm home i'm relaxing and playing but when I'm at work I'm at work.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ask Ken Section

Hello All,

Here is your section to ask me Questions get advice and what ever you want. feel free to comment about what ever is on your mind, love, life, whatever.

One thing though- please be clean I would not like to have to delete comments because they were to vulgar or demeaning to others. other then that have a blast and let the communication flow.

Giving an update

Hello All,

well things have been going great for My Queen and I. My Queen came to visit me in August and things were simply Amazing. I truly did not want her to go back to Florida. Sadly she did because of the responsibilities she has there. Not to worry though we will be together soon God Willing. I took alot of pictures of My Queen and My Little Angel. that i have posted a few here.

Further News - Well I asked her dad for her hand in marriage, he took time to think about it and then said for us to wait till i moved down there. So in responce to this i am working two jobs and saving as much as I can to get down to My Queen. Other then that I am just taking care of my responcibilities here trying to sell my house to my parents and pay off my truck and then move to Florida.

The second job thing is going well so far but it makes me tired and what not so sorry if i'm not posting like normal. if you still want advice about things i am still here, just send me an email or post it in the ask Ken section I am setting up.
Well I Hope to hear from you and hope you have many Blessings upon you.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Adding Meaning, Adds Romance

Over the years I have learned to add meaning to most if not all of what I do for my girlfriend. Getting a gift of flowers for instance is a great thing but getting the flowers that have very specific meanings add more romance to the flowers and thus creates more intimacy with my girlfriend. In life every thing has a meaning. Applying a meaning to something is fairly simple; it just depends on how you want to add it or what you want to say.

You may have noticed a message I left for my Queen a few post ago. This message can only be interpreted by My Queen because she has the key to decipher it.

As I said everything has a meaning so let’s look at flowers, colors, then gifts them selves.

Flowers are one of the best ways to say something to someone you love. Each flower has its own meaning. So you can easily create a special message for someone by looking at the meaning and then just picking up the flower.
There are plenty of web sites that give meanings of flowers when you do a google search for meanings of flowers. Some web sites are;

I have found that adding a special message to your loved one not only lets them know you love them but you can basically say anything you wish to them good or bad.

You could also create your own meanings to flowers and then make a code for your loved one to decipher this shows you put a lot of work in to a simple message that shows you have a vested interest in your loved one. Let’s face it when you are imaginative in your love life your love life is fun and exciting no matter what. Who don’t like getting a special message or knowing that only they can know the message once they decipher it?

When I was studding art in high school and college I learned that colors have meanings. You can use colors in your love life by what you wear or by the color of flowers you give or just be creative with how you use color. For those who are color blind, black and white and grey all have meanings as well, you can add your own meanings to each of them and then add other meanings based on what you get.
Let’s say you get a red rose that is thorn less. Since you can’t see the red but see a darker color ether black or a shade of grey, you can say the grayish black color means your timeless and stylish, the rose means “true love”, and the fact it’s thorn less could mean “you have no flaws to me” so the whole message could say “you’re a timeless, stylish, true love that has no flaws to me.” Simple sweet and very meaningful if given to and by someone you really love.

Colors can also affect some ones mood. Here are some meanings and mood affects for colors:

Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors of the Flag
In the U.S. flag, white stands for purity and innocence. Red represents valor and hardiness, while blue signifies justice, perseverance, and vigilance. The stars represent the heavens and all the good that people strive for, while the stripes emulate the sun's rays.

Food for Thought
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.

Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

Well there you have a nice little list of what colors mean and how they affect your mood. Now let’s look at gifts.
Gifts can be simple or elaborate ether way adding meaning to them makes them timeless and sentimental. If you give your girlfriend a necklace add some kind of meaning to it. Lets say you get a diamond necklace this is easy diamonds are “a girls best friend” right? So you could get the necklace in a shape your girlfriend will like a favorite animal or a heart or what ever. Then just think about how long you have been together get enough diamonds for each year or make it a mixed necklace. Say you and your girlfriend have been together for 5 years two of the years were spent apart. So you get her a diamond necklace with three nicely cut diamonds and two other stones your girlfriend likes. Then the necklace means the time way from you were emeralds and the time together are diamonds. The biggest stone is of her favorite animal or heart and is a diamond. So now not only does it mean something about your relationship it also means something more to her because you remembered her favorite animal or you gave your heart to her.

Well I hope you have found this insightful and useful. When in a relationship be creative and think of what your partner’s favorite things are and make your gifts and flowers and so on tailored to give romance to your relationship. It takes time but what is a little time out of your day to give joy to the one you love?

Sorry I've been away

Hello Everyone sorry i have not posted anything or been around for a while. things have been rather crazy at my home. in short i have been going to and from hospitals and doctors for my parents, working on the house and finding time to be with My Queen. over all I have been busy. I will try to post some thing new soon I hope you all are doing great. God Bless.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

7 Songs I'm listening to right now......
1. Rebecca St. James - Wait for Me
2. Duawne Starling - With This Ring
3. Ambasitor - Love Song
4. UB40 - The way you doThe things you do
5. Mercy Me - No More No Less
6. Craig David - Can't Be Messing around
7. Toby Mac - Lose My Soul

Well these are the songs I am listening to.
Instead of taging others why not just let you all tell what songs you listen to now. feel free to comment and let evey one know what songs you like.
Thanks for visiting and take care.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Love Vs. Lust

Hello Ladies and Gents,
While I was surfing the net, I came across the age old question, is my relation based on love or lust? While many may search out the top ten reasons. I find that the top ten are very flawed, they are generalized and lack any real depth. So I decided to look deeper then just the top ways to know. Lets start with some definitions the best way to classify something is to give it a definition. You can find definitions by doing a simple web search.

Love - is the unconditional acceptance of all things as they are.
To alter or expand them by contributing to them in a loving way
Creates blessings. To alter, judge or limit them by force or fear
Creates burdens which you must carry, experience or learn from.

Lust - is wanting something that you can't have, taking something
that isn't yours, (through acquisition, force, coercion or manipulation),
and believing in something that isn't loving, (like domination, control
or sacrifice (not self)).

Biblical perspective on love vs lust
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 sums up the common traits and variances of love and lust.
LOVE is kind = considerate, caring, giving, thoughtful, understanding
LOVE is not proud = humble, submissive, meek, modest
LOVE rejoices in the truth = God is love, Love is God = Wisdom, Holy Spirit, Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Lust is envy = jealous, greed, spite, resentment,
Lust is self-seeking = selfish, rebellious, rude, egotistical, hateful,
Lust delights in evil = Satan, sin, wicked, iniquitous, immoral, dishonest

Now that we have the definitions of love and lust lets look at the cultural view of it in our time
The US has many ways to sell items the most profit selling tool is lust. Show a woman half nude and guys will buy the magazine because he can’t control his base desires, because of lack of discipline. Whoooops I said discipline, that is taboo in today’s culture. Parents give their unruly kids a spanking and HELLO the child services are all over them. is not discipline a form of love also? Teaching your kids how to respect others and authority, I’m not talking about walking in the door and giving your kid a shiner or a nice square kick to the ribs but a ferm swat to the butt because of a legitimate reason. Not out of anger or frustration but out of wanting to teach the kid a lesson. If he is unruly he will be spanked to help him not be unruly. Simple but very effective. I speak from many, many, MANY spanking or laying on of hands sessions where i was the offeneder not the spanker. Love of your children is one thing that is very profound. The love a mother or father has for thier child is like nothing else. You want the best for them, better then what you have, you worry if they are sick or in trouble. You will do all you can to keep the child from danger or harm of any sort. That is a parent’s love. As for lust in this area ok sicko go get some counseling and leave them kids alone.

Ok back to our love vs. lust for relationships, our culture has a superficial and selfish view of love, which has contaminated our understanding of what REAL LOVE is. The culture believes that love is something that makes us FEEL good and that it's acceptable to sacrifice moral principles to obtain such love. But in doing so this culture IS NOT obtaining the love characteristic but the lustful ones.

Love involves unselfish acts. Faith is the foundation of God's message. By putting our complete faith in God gives us the freedom to love others completely.

We have talked about love a little and since we more often lust before we love lets look at lust.
Acting out lustful desires is very harmful in four ways.
1. Lustful desires destroys marriage
2. Lustfulness is rebelliousness to God
3. Lustfulness always hurts someone
4. Lustful acts lead to premarital sex

If lustful desires are in our thoughts, then they most likely will come out in our actions!
Lustful thinking can turn into
Premarital sex which can lead to genital/ sexual diseases or lack of sexual interest with spouse or both which will quite often lead to Adultery and end in divorce. And many people wonder why our divorce rate is so high both in and out of the church. I admit people are not perfect, but if you love some one you will do all you can to be with that one person for the rest of your life. I heard an old phrase long ago “if you got a gourmet meal at home why settle for a quick bite.” This rings true now more then ever, if you have a loving woman or man at home. Why settle for a quicky when you can have something far more satisfying at home waiting for you?

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis, men a little more then women I fear. God doesn't forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people lives physically and spiritually and emotionally. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral sexual desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful desires than Him. It hurts us because after a couple has sex things may be weird for a little bit after sex because you just gave each other something so unique and special. If you’re out side of a marriage then you just gave it to some one who may not respect the gift.

The more I think about it, when we meet someone for the first time or see someone from across the room and we see something we like. We are able to start lusting for them but is this how all relationships start? First we see someone then we get to know them, we build on the relationship from friends but some where we are faced with lustful desires. I know from my past, even now, I struggle with lustful desires. Though I love My Queen with all my heart and when she is not talking to me or has some thing she must work out on her own, I long to help her and I miss her so much, I’m on the verge of despair. Because I want to be with her so very much not in a sexual way, though that is most defiantly there, but for her emotionally, spiritually, physically and in every way a husband wants to be there for his bride. When she says I need time to get over some thing I dread it because I miss her so, not for my self but because I miss her voice and laughter, hearing how our daughter is doing and the inner play between the two of them. I desire more then anything to be there with them to help and love them. So how many times have you truly been loved? Is your past relationships and current relationship lust or love?

Just because I like to drive in points, here are some ways to know if it is love or lust.
Love is patient. Sometimes sex sounds like love, but it's not.
Lust can't wait; it's impulsive.

Love is kind.
Lust is cruel, critical, manipulative.

Love does not envy. "I need you" isn't the same as "I will be here for you."
Lust seeks more than it earns.

Love does not boast.
Lust builds self at another's expense.

Love is not proud. "I want you" doesn't mean "I want to give my life to you.”
Lust is easily threatened.

Love is not rude.
Lust is disrespectful and thoughtless.

Love is not self-seeking. "You're gorgeous" doesn't mean" I love you for who God made you to be."
Lust is demanding and uncaring.

Love is not easily angered.
Lust is temperamental and retaliates.

Love keeps no record of wrong. "I'll be gentle" is not the same as" I care about your heart and feelings."
Lust does not forget offenses.

Love does not delight in evil.
Lust commits wrong to get its own way; it rationalizes

Love rejoices in the truth. "It feels good" doesn't mean "I want you to feel good about yourself after it's over."
Lust encourages lies and covers misdeeds.

Love always protects.
Lust takes to gain its own end and lacks concern for others.

Love always trusts "Everybody's doing it" does not mean "I want to do it God's way." Lust is suspicious and jealous.

Love always hopes.
Lust always takes chances at your expense.

Love always perseveres. "You're so good, I want you now" isn't the same as "You're so good, I’m willing to wait."
Lust backs out when it's no longer convenient.

Love never fails; it's constant and enduring.
Lust ceases when self is no longer served; it's fickle, insecure, unfaithful.

I hope you have found this helpful and leave comments if you’re inclined.

A Personal note to My Queen.
My Dearest Queen, My Love,
I Daffodil 2 you are well. I miss you so very much, Jasmine (Carolina) from you is Cypress 1 to me. When I gaze upon your Alyssum, I praise God for the Amaryllis gem, He has blessed me with. Chrysanthemum (red) you My Queen. I am Althea for you.
With every breath with in me I am Camellia (pink). (Milk-Vetch), I miss you so much and hope to hear from you soon. Rose(Austrian) to me.
God Bless You and Our lil’ Angel.
Rose (Montiflora),

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

a black poem

My Queen sent me this. I thought it was cool and I wanted to share it.
the original author is RuNell Ni Ebo
the original poem can be found at http://www.geocities.com/smootht.geo/RuNellNiEbo.html
as for the author of this version i do not know.

The Black Prayer This is deep, so take your time.

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....Lord ....
Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...
Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone who receives the hated stare?
Black is the color of the bruised eyewhen someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,black is the color of dirt.
Why is my bone structure so thick,my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,and not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skinand think I should be abused?
Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate meand not know the person within?
Black is what people are "Labeled"when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like myskin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!
Lord, don't you thinkit's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creationand make everyone the same?

God's Reply:
Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?
I made you in the color of coalfrom which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,the black gold which keeps people warm.
Your color is the same as the rich dark soilthat grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion andpanther,
Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
All colors of the heavenly rainbowcan be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!
Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!
You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!
You are the color of dark cloudsfrom the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!
Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!
So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Monday, May 26, 2008

What Do Women Want to Know???

Hello All,

I want to get an idea of what women want to know about men and what men think they want to know. Anything and everything is open for discussion. If you feel your topic is to personal, my email link is on my profile, so if you are so inclined you can contact me that way. This is your chance ladies to get all the answers, if I can give them to you.

Your questions and situations may relate to other topics or questions other women have, but are not sure how to put them in to words so please ask any and all questions you have.

This is your time Ladies let the questions, stories, and situations flow. If you send an email and only want me to email you back please let me know.

Thank you in advance.

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Best date ever


I just wanted to get some feed back on what people feel is the best date ever.

This post goes along with the survey I have posted. If you want to share your best date feel free to do so, You could also share your worst date ever. Hopefully they are not the same date!

I'm kind of traditional I like dinner and a movie with a walk in a park or down a beach as the sun sets. This way I get alot of talking and something to talk about, but I also like more romantic dates. My favorate date is one filled with romance; candle lite dinner, walk on the beach at sunset or sunrise, you get the idea.

As for the best date I have been on... I have to say when I talk with My Queen, every talk is like a date.

As for the worst... hmm there have been many, but the one that stands out was when I was in the Navy in Virginia. I was hit on by this girl in Target and we went out on a date. The entire date was spent with her talking about her ex boyfriend. "Can we say awkward" I did not mind talking to her about it but honestly who likes talking to a "date" about how she wants her ex boyfriend. We both decided to just be friends and then I talked to her about her ex and what not. I found out then I was one of the guys people come to for advice or just to be someone to lean on. back then I thought "GREAT I'm in the freakin' friend zone."

Hope to hear some of your best/ worst date ideas, stories and so on.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Say What You Mean, Mean What You Say!!!

In the past relationships I have had I have had to guess what a woman means verse what they say. One case in point – I was dating a woman when I was in the Navy (8 or so years ago). I have always struggled with my weight, the lightest I have been as an adult was when I was in Boot Camp and even then I was 190. So I tried to loose weight with the take the miracle pill gimmick. When I told my gf at the time about it she said “Cool, I would like to try that too to see if it would work for me.” (I know what you’re thinking “Oh no he didn’t” and to that I say “YES, I did”). I sent her some of the pills because she said she wanted them. Well she was very hurt and offended because I sent the pills. But in my defense how was I supposed to know, I’m not a mind reader she said she wanted them so I sent them. Well soon after I was shipped out and then the relationship fell apart but that is a different story. My Queen makes fun of this story and my many mess-ups I have made with women, and I take it in stride, it’s not like I’m perfect or anything.

I have always been told growing up to say what you mean and mean what you say. I think it came from one of the Dr. Seuss books. But regardless, why is it women always try to have a guy read their minds? Personally I think it’s because women like messing with men’s minds. This would give them a reason to have an argument or what not as well as give them some “spice” in the relationship; you know the make up sex. So what do you folks think? Why do women expect me to read their minds or know what they mean verse what they say?

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Do Black People Find Red Hair Attractive?

I’m curious, do black women like men with red hair? I came up with this question from this web site talking about red haired people http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_hair

One place in the article it says “Rees (2004) suggested that the vividness and rarity of red hair may lead to it becoming desirable in a partner and therefore it could become more common through sexual selection.[18]
Harding et al (2000) proposed that red hair was not the result of positive selection but rather occurs due to a lack of negative selection. In Africa, for example, red hair is selected against because high levels of sun would be harmful towards fair skin. However, in Northern Europe this does not happen and so redheads come about through genetic drift.[14]
And in another area of the same article
States “One variety of albinism (Type 3, aka rufous albinism), sometimes seen in Africans and inhabitants of New Guinea, results in red hair and red-colored skin.[35]

Again from the same article
“Another belief is that redheads are highly-sexed; for example, Jonathan Swift satirizes redhead stereotypes in part four of Gulliver's Travels, "A Voyage to the Country of the Houyhnhnms," when he writes that: "It is observed that the red-haired of both sexes are more libidinous and mischievous than the rest, whom yet they much exceed in strength and activity." Swift goes on to write that: "...neither was the hair of this brute [a Yahoo] of a red color (which might have been some excuse for an appetite a little irregular) but black as a sloe..."[38]
Also in the article
"Many painters have exhibited a fascination with red hair. The color "titian" takes its name from Titian, who often painted women with red hair. Early Renaissance artist Sandro Botticelli's famous painting The Birth of Venus depicts the mythological goddess Venus as a redhead. "
Venus being the Godess of love and fertility in greek myth, so I wonder if Black women and men have any thoughts about red haired people as mates or do black women and men prefer people not of the red haired community?

Please leave comments if you wish.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Single Parent Dating

First lets start on why I am able to talk about this topic. I have dated a few women who are single parents. I am currently in a very serious relationship with one now. She is the one woman I plan on marrying. she is an amazing woman and her child I consider mine aswell. Over the years I have notices a trend regarding women who have a child from another man. the trends I have noticed

The mother feels like she is unattractive to single men.
The mother feels she is undeserving of love from a good man.
The mother tries to rush a relationship.
The mother seeks out a dad for her baby. (baby-dad)
The mother gets taken advantage of my some men.

These things I have noticed and would like to try to help in these areas. When a single parent is looking for a date, mate or significant other they tend to over look things that should not be over looked. First lets talk about how the woman is treated. I have seen and heard many women say “he treats me bad but what else is out there for a woman like me” let me say a man who would treat you in a manor that is degrading to you is not some one you want to be around or be in a relationship with. The reasons for this are because the man will just take advantage of you or worse warp your and your child’s minds, emotions and self worth.
Women who have children from other men have a vast array of emotions going almost all the time; worry for the child, the bills, and other facets of life. Sadly their self worth is questioned on many occasions. Ladies just because you have a child from another man does not mean you’re unattractive, or undeserving of love. It means you made a mistake with a man who did not love you, but the child is not the mistake, the man was. Your self worth should never be reliant on some one else. I have known many men who met and fell in love with a single parent, I’m one of them. Yes a child is a big responsibility for any one but if a guy is not willing to man up, then ladies he is not the man you want to be around. As far as I’m concerned he could looks like Brat Pitt but if he is not man enough to put aside his single life for one that is totally involved with you and your child then he is not worth keeping around or continuing a relationship with. Don’t get me wrong some time has to go buy for him to have ample time to take on the responsibility but that is not a bad thing ladies.
Lets talk about the rushing in to things. I know from my own experience with dating and relationships when ever I rushed it was a big mistake. When you rush a relationship you fail to truly see who it is you’re in the relationship with. A true understanding of someone is going to take time. any guy who tries to get you in to bed with in the first few dates or maybe even months is not some one who is going to respect you or your child. Relationships take time to fully grow to where you are so in love with one another that he will not stray from you. to find the guy that will be a great husband and father is not something you can truly rush nor should you. my advise is be patient, never try to jump to quickly, I know this is easier said then done but trust me your relationship will be stronger for waiting and finding a guy who is of quality rather then just finding some one doing things and then feeling regret and broken hearted.
I have dated some women who were not looking for a true relationship they just wanted a dad for their child, or (baby-dad). This is also connected to rushing a relationship. If you find a guy and your digging him. Just relax if he likes you he will start getting involved with you and your child. I know that having a guy met the child to early may scare the guy off but if a little kid scares him off was he really worth keeping??? Knowing when to have the guy and kid meet is truly up to you moms. But never just say here is my kid get to know him/her. Try to just get together with the guy at a place where both will be at ease. A play ground or parks are some good choices. Let the guy and kid talk for a bit with you there. More often then not the guy will ask what the kid likes to do or what not you know idle chit chat. This shows the guy is trying but really don’t know where to start so having knowledge before hand is going to make this a lot easier for the guy and child.
Make sure to have some kind of activity for the day will help the guy and child bond. (Women bond with kids far faster then men I think it has to do with a nurturing nature of women.) Anyway letting your child knows what is going on is also a good thing. There is nothing worst for a man then meeting a child and being accused of breaking mommy and daddy up then getting kicked in the shin by a four year old.

Last but hardly least is how single mothers get taken advantage of my some men. Sadly some men will see a single mom and think “hey, I could sleep with that easy.” Letting someone in to your life to quickly rarely turns out for the best. These kinds of men are the ones you want to avoid. But never use your child as a defense. Just let the guy know your not going to play doctor until marriage and that you’re looking for a man who will love you and your child. You’re a package deal and there is nothing wrong with that at all. Your still the same woman before the child but just a little wiser and have more responsibility. I have heard from women “I have changed so much” to this I say “Really how so.” Your body has gone threw changes, your emotions, maybe your personality but the thing is your still you. You have things changing all the time but when you have a child you just see them more. Lets face it ladies when have men ever truly known all about women. I think Eve made Adam have a lot of moments of confusion and frustration.
I know I have talked mostly about single mothers. This is because I don’t date single fathers and therefore have no idea what it takes to date them or their mind sets. But I have gotten to know a few single moms and the fears and mind sets of them by dating them and being friends with some of them. My future wife has a child and she was so nervous the first time we talked she did not know I still cared for her even though she now has a little child. To me being a single mom is not a cause to run away from a relationship but the attitude of the mom is what tells me to stay or go. looking at your self as if your damaged goods or to much of a burden send out a negative self image and then makes me say why does she feel this way. But looking at your child as a blessing and your self as another blessing you change the way you look at your self and so will men. I know I am not an expert or anything but being in love is something that happens over time never rush it, and go in to a relationship with the mind set of lets have fun with all of the family not just mom and some date. The best thing you women can do for your selves is to keep both eyes open and never think you’re not good enough. You’re a mother and a blessing to any mans life and your child will be another blessing to any man. Therefore any man who gets your affection will have a double blessing. I hope this helps and feel free to comment.

I found this on the web at this site http://singleparents.about.com/od/datingadvice/a/new_attitude.htm

New Ways of Thinking About Single Parent Dating Relationships
If you feel anxious about not being in a relationship, it may be time to adopt a whole new attitude toward single parent dating. Consider how these small changes could alter your perspective and help you enjoy the full, rich life you deserve.
Focus on expanding your social circle instead of "finding a mate."

Change your definition of what it means to have an active social life. When you focus on finding "the one," you're bound to put a lot of pressure on yourself. This can have two negative effects: First, it can cause you to make poor decisions; and, second, it can lead to unnecessary disappointment with an otherwise fulfilling life.

When you place your attention on expanding your social circle, though, you free yourself from that pressure. This enables you to focus on friendships and being with people who lift you up and bring joy to your life.

Make your social life part of your self-care plan.

To say you are "extremely busy" working and raising your children is an understatement. In fact, you may even feel like you just don't have time to date. If that's the case, I'd encourage you to think of socializing as part of taking care of yourself. You deserve to get out now and then. Spending some time away from your home and work responsibilities can be a refreshing part of honoring who you are and getting to know yourself again. Rather than feeling guilty about social engagements, view them as a part of your personal self-care plan.

Build each potential relationship on friendship, not just attraction.

Chances are, you pretty much know immediately whether you are attracted to someone or not. Rather than allowing only physical attraction to define your relationship, though, focus on really getting to know one another and exploring your common interests. This may require discipline and even some restraint. However, taking the time to get to know someone as a friend will allow you to see their best and worst qualities with clarity and make objective decisions about the potential of your relationship.

Be bold.

Take some risks. If you have serious hopes about enjoying a meaningful relationship, you're going to have to do some things you might not ordinarily do, in order to maximize your social opportunities. For some people this means being bold enough to initiate a conversation while standing in the checkout line. For others, it means going back to church, signing up with an online dating service, or putting the word "out" among friends that you'd like you find someone. Certainly you should never do something that makes you uncomfortable or that compromise your integrity. However, taking small risks that place you just outside your comfort zone can put you in a good position to meet many new and interesting people.

You are worth waiting for the right relationship.

Finally, don't compromise. You're not looking for someone who treats you well "most" of the time, makes you feel "somewhat" important, or has "a little bit" of respect for the work you do in the world. You are worth more than that. If you haven't believed that until now, then this is the time to throw away your old thinking habits and adopt a new attitude concerning your worth as a friend, a dating companion, and potentially as a mate.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Why I Love My Black Queen

I have seen on other blogs that Black women don’t feel they are the first choice for a white man. So I will now tell you why this white man chooses Black women and really the one black woman I am now with.
When My Queen and I first talked it was 4 years ago. She was my cousin’s friend. She was having problems with her boyfriend / fiancĂ©e. She and I talked for a while and I truly fell in love for this woman. The way she was captivated me and made me want to talk to her more and more. she had such a moral based style about her and more then that she was Godly and forgiving and compassionate. The things she told me she did for her man made me want some one to do them for me and I’m not talking sexually, I’m talking taking her guy out for a picnic, cuddling on the beach, just loving him as a woman loves a man. I have dated many types of women but have not had a woman do those things for me. she and I hit it off so well I knew there was chemistry there far more then ether of us were ready for. I knew she was the one woman I wanted to be with, but she was with another guy who was doing her wrong. it did not mean anything to me that he was a black guy, he was treating her like a dog and going behind her back and doing things no man or person should do when they are in a relationship. Anyway after a while she decided to tell me she could not talk to me any more, because she was with some one. I always thought I came on too strong, but I did try to take to her again and she would not respond. So I was honor bound to oblige her request, plus f I had continued she would have gotten a very bad image of me. I did not want to let her go but she made her choice I could only hope and pray she would change her mind.
After a few months my cousin told me My Queen married the guy. I was upset to say the least if I would have known when the day was I would have tried to stop it, but sadly My Queen did not let my cousin know and therefore I could do nothing. More time passed and I kept asking about My Queen from my cousin (I know my cousin was getting really tired of me asking about My Queen.) after a while my cousin told me My Queen was coming to town, I was excited and overjoyed at the chance of seeing her, but wondered why she was coming, come to find out her new husband had attacked her and was acting a fool. I never wanted to send someone to the ICU more in my life, but he way her husband and I had to remind myself she made her choice. I again could only hope and pray she would get away from him. During the time I heard she was now married till the time she was coming to town I prayed that her marriage would work, I even stopped dating I did not want another woman she was the only one I truly wanted and I knew it.
My Queen did come and gave birth to a beautiful child but she did not see me. Then she went back to him. I was devastated. I have had many friends be in relationships where a guy did not treat the woman well at all and they just stayed with him no matter how badly he treated her. I was grieved to think My Queen would be one of those relationships.
After this I could not bare to continue asking about My Queen. I stayed away from people and just waited and amerced myself in games and things that where complicated so I would not think about My Queen, I gave the picture I had of her to my cousin and erased all the things I had for her except some things I really liked that I could use for other things or maybe even other relationships should my heart grow back.
Over time one of my ex-girlfriends called me and wanted me to give her another chance I figured sure why not I have not dated any one in over 2 to 3 years and the One woman I wanted was now married. So she and I talked for a bit but it was a long distance relationship. She never really opened up to me and I really never opened up to her but I opened up as much as I could eventually she just stopped calling. I never really knew why until recently she was doing drugs and did not want to open up to me. so she just left me and then dated other people. While I still waited eventfully I got the hint she no longer wanted to talk to me so I just kept busy. One night at work a girl called asking for my cousin she sounded sweet and when I told my cousin he told me she would not leave him alone I figured why don’t she talk to me. (Note to self this was the time you messed up).
Well I did talk to her more and then I even dated her she was nothing that I thought she was she did every thing in her power to use me abuse me and then I found out she still wanted my cousin. After I left her months passed. Then I started talking to an old friend from high school. We talked for month but nothing really started she was a black women and I cherished her friendship and even wanted to see if a relationship would work, but she insisted a long distance relationship would not work between us and their for I was just a friend. Well after a little while I decided to just keep her as a friend and I let her know she was just a friend. She said it was for the best. And a few weeks after this My Queen emailed me she had decided to get a divorce because she could take no more and her husband was not even trying to keep her in fact he was doing every thing he could to push her out the door. This pained me, because My Queen deserved so much better. She never wanted to get a divorce never wanted to be hurt like this and I knew it. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go threw with it, she said yes she was. She and I talked more and more and t was as if time had stood still.
As we talked My Heart burned livelier then it had in years and my imagination soared anew (which is a big deal for a graphic artist). My Queen told me she wanted to just be friends and I was ok with that. We talked for months and every time we talked time flew by as if she and I were moving so slow. After a little while I could not take it any longer I laid all my thoughts and cards out on the table I told her I loved her and that she was the Only One I wanted. She was taken back by this because she thought I would not talk to her let alone tell her my undying love for her. We continued to talk and just see how things we between us. She did not feel right about talking to me while she was going threw the divorce so we decided to stop talking again(this truly killed me to have her again and have to let her go this was just wrong) but I knew she was right and I would not wish for her to feel strange or pushed. I told her I understood and sent her a lasting message, one that was letting her know all my hopes and dreams about us and so on and that if she was unsure that I would understand if she decided to not go threw with the divorce there was no pressure because I did not want to be the reason she got the divorce. The next day when I could not talk to her I started a book for her( this was love letters for her, even though I did not know if she was going to come back to me or what not) then when I saw her lasting message to me it blew my mind! She said she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her Life with me. I was floored; I read that letter over and over. After a while I was just waiting and then out of the blue she called and told me she was not going to not talk to me. I was overjoyed to have her speaking to me again. This beautiful woman never ceases to amaze me. We have talked for over 5 months now as a couple and she is the only woman on this planet I want to be my bride. Right now we are in a long distance relationship, it’s hard but she and I both know it’s for the best she and I both want to wait till marriage and being so far from each other makes the temptation easier. Soon I will move to where she is and soon I will be with her. She is My Beloved Queen.
Well I know this does not tell all the reasons I love My Queen but it shows what she and I have endured. I love her for all that she is. I knew she was the one from the first week I spoke to her. Her heart is golden, she is virtuous, she is thoughtful, she is just as loyal as I am to a relationship. And she is just amazing. She and I have not had a single fight she knows my heart and I know hers. Skin color has nothing to do with it. It’s the personality and the way she is with me and the way I am with her, that makes our relationship work. There are times I feel unworthy to have a woman such as her in my life let alone her love. There is truly nothing (with in reason), I would not do to please My Queen. Well I hope you can see why I love this Black woman, if not then you are not then let me just say I love this Beautiful Black woman because of who she is. She is strong, smart, intelligent, kind, sweet, nurturing, Godly, Virtuous, merciful, forgiving, loyal, and so much more she is truly amazing. She is truly a Gem of God.

Have a Great day and God Bless.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Looks or Personality?

I have seen this controversy/ delima on many blogs, on TV and in Magizines. What is the big deal? if you have someone or are looking for someone why only look at the "hot hunks" or the "sexy cute guys or girls" or the "babe"? why are we so drawn to the physical bodies of others when we look for dates or relationships?

First off don't be drawn by beauty, the bible says staight up that beauty is passing. Many people look at me and think great another butterball but I have things that most the "hot guys" don't. I respect women perhaps to a fault, but a woman who I date knows she has someone who will not play games, will not cheat, and will not lie to her, among other things.
My looks may not be the best but I'm cool with that because my future wife loves the way I look and loves the way I am. You will also find that with other guys who may not be the ideal picture fodder that they have qualities that are above what you expect. When finding a guy or girl to start a relationship with don't just look at the outside that should be the last quality you want.

So why is it many women and men go for the outside packaging first?
If a guy or girl treats you badly why let thier looks keep you with them?

I wonder if people stay with the "hunks" or "babe" just for bragging rights. so when they are walking down the street they can look at others faces and say "yep this is mine"with the look of tripump on thier faces. or is it because of society's puss for the "beautiful people"?
One thing I have found is that no matter what someone looks like if they don't respect you enough to treat you like you should be treated then don't let the outside package and the"bragging rights" keep you with them.
If you can't tell i'm not one of the "beautiful people" like the hollywood type. I don't think I look bad but yeah I have some extra baggge and let me tell you if I got in to a fight with a "beatuful guy" I would stright up make him no longer "beautiful". Sure he would look good in the hospital bed with all the IV in his arm but the face would be one only a mother could love, but lets face the facts we see some one and think "hey I wonder if he or she is single?" Then we start trying to get the atTention of the "hot" people and leave the rest behind because of the outward apperatrance. This is a sad fact but I have not met some one who says "Yeah I fell for her personality when I saw her." We are so drawn to the good looking people because of society and the way our values have changed.
To show the diffrence in values lets look at africa. Many tribed there have diffrent values for how to look at women and men. For the men they want a woman with big hips the bigger the better. The women who are small and what we Americans would consider "hot" are avoided over there. Also the women are looking for men who can be providers and fathers not the "hot" guys. the ones who don't have jobs or can't support a family are avoided. So why is it here in America its so hard for the guys who don't look like the "hot guys" to get someone who will love them for who they are and how well they can provide.
I'm not saying women don't look at those things but if a guy is "hot" a woman will take alot more for him then from a guy who is not "hot". We have become a society of people who lust at first sight. there is no such thing as love at first sight. when we first see some one who is good looking the room stops and the men drool and the women gaze (which is woman talk for women drool). then if someone is single they try to get the attention of the good looking one. not because they like thier personality but because they are "Hot". now if some one who is ok or a little over weight comes in people may notice they are there but no one drools or gazes no one trys to go tale to them.
so why the double standard? has society programed us with the TV and Movies to see what is "beautiful"?

Monday, April 21, 2008

About the Romance…

Ok I have been asked on many occasions to talk to men and women about romance. Not that I’m some kind of genius or guru on romance but because I do things in such a way that many women have said “I wish my man did that” or “could you talk to my Boyfriend for me.” but before I begin…

I have some words for the men who would abuse what I am going to say to just get in to a woman’s pants and abuse women. Now to the boys who play games with women’s hearts. Wake Up, you give every man a bad name and disgrace us all with your foolishness. Playing games just to “get some” from a woman is foolish not to mention stupid. With all the STD’s going around you think you will not get at least one. stop Playing the field and step up and be a Man not a BOY.

Ok continuing on, first thing is this. Women if you are not being treated right and by right I mean if your guy hits you or curses you out. LEAVE that sorry excuse for a man behind. Any man who will hit you or degrade you does not truly love you. and same goes for men who get degraded by women and maybe even abused my women.

When you start a relationship it is always good to have time to be “over” your previous ex. Never jump from one relationship to another. All you’re doing is using the new relationship to get over the last. This is unhealthy and is doomed to fail before the true romance even begins.
Now to women a word of warning. If you can’t be romantic and not be sexual with some one then it is best to just not be romantic with that some one. Many men will try to just get one thing from a woman; you women know what that is. The basic need for men is to be sexual it starts with puberty. Men start seeing women differently and start seeing the way women start filling out and desire to have them.

One thing I have to say is in my personal experience it is better to wait till marriage before getting sexually involved. This way should the relationship fail you will not be hurt as much as if you did have sexual things happen. Also waiting till marriage will chase off the guys who only want one thing. Many of the men out there who only want sex will not go through all the hard work to get a woman who is waiting. They will try to persuade her to “give it up” but if they fail and continue to fail they will leave and find some one else. This is not a bad thing Ladies!

When out on a first date never kiss, or go any farther then just getting to know one another with out sexual contact. No hand holding and such. Because men are visual and touchy creatures, where women are emotional and touchy creatures. That being said ladies’ looking good does not mean wearing next to nothing to get a man wanting to be sexual with you. Men will see you wearing something and imagine you naked anyway why spoil his imagination leave him wanting more. This will drive him to want to try harder to make you happy so that you will show more. If a woman shows to much a man will not respect her as if a woman show only just enough.

Now about respect, ladies respecting your selves and having confidence will drive a man to you. He will respect you for not giving in to sexual advances too early in the new relationship. Many will probably give me Hate mail or comments for saying this but a woman who shows to much does not want to be respected because she shows men she don’t respect herself. Ladies I can not stress this enough you do not have to look like the sexy models to get a man, just look good. Don’t show your “girls” off to early let the man work for the privilege of seeing your “ladies”.

Now to men, I have said before women are emotional and touchy creatures. So be emotionally there for them. show them what they mean to you. flowers on special occasions are good but flowers, candies and something else speaks a lot more of your love for them. doing something as simple as making a custom CD of the music you like that has a romantic under tone, helps women to see your way of things. Getting a flower “just because” is something women love.
I was getting gas at a Texaco station one time and I saw some roses where there I had the money and I decided to get as many as I could. A woman behind me in line said “ohhhhh some one’s in the dog house.” With out hesitation I said “no, I’m rarely in the dog house” so she said “so what are the flowers for?” I said “just because.” She was shocked and then asked me “could you talk to my boyfriend?” I said “it would not help, a man has to want to do it, he can’t be forces to do it.”

What I said was true you could force a man to get you flowers but then the flowers will have a different meaning they would not be because he loves you they would be because he wants to shut you up.

Now let me say this, the little things that each of you do in your relationship will help make your relationship strong and full of romance. when your out and about getting flower for your partner "just because", or if your walking some where and you see some thing that reminds you of your loved one and can afford it, buy it as a gift of love. Relationships are work with out a doubt, but you can ether enjoy the work or dread it. The choice is up to you.

Interracial Relationships - Why White Guys Love Black Women

Ever wondered why some white guys, love black women so much?

It seems that being a white male and proclaiming your attraction to black women (not only sexually, but also romantically) may lead to a lot of controversial and dangerous things. Let’s leave the debate of why more black women may be opening themselves up to white guys. The main focus of this debate is why some white guys are opening themselves to black women?

Most white males don’t feel like they are running short of white women to marry. White males just marry at high rates. So question is: Why black women? The thing is it will not be fair to bundle up black women as one since everyone is their own person and as most have figured out ALL women are different and complex… be it in appearance or personality or values.
However, one thing that some white males say is: “We love a black woman’s confidence, her tenacity and her undeniable achievements in the face of great adversity…” Since this info was coming from men, there was definitely the mention of the lips, the curves, and that wonderful skin as well.

So what about stereotypes like “black women are either sexually conservative or total sluts?” but in truth couldn’t that be said about all races in general. Many people give so much lip service to interracial dating. Stereotypes are spread because of ignorance and hatred of other races for various reasons that have no real ground, and by people who are close minded to dating and loving others. What happened to the highly educated black woman? How about the caring, decent and involved black woman?
Probably most white guys and others are confused with the stereotypical trash people spread around and if you are one that falls for such lame lines, then you haven’t dated a black woman.

Let me tell you all something, thus far dating a black woman has been the high light of my dating life and my life in general. She has been the best woman I have ever dated. She is loving, sweet, caring, loyal, nurturing, compassionate, virtuous, Godly and more then I could have ever dreamed.
Speaking as a white man dating and planning to marry a black woman. People will perceive our relationship from many angles but what matters is the love she and I share. I have wanted this woman for 4 years and now that I have her, I’m not letting anyone’s warped, biased view change my mind. She truly is the love of my life. So to all you beautiful dark skinned women who say “never” to a “white boy” well guess what, you could be missing out on some of the best blessings God can give you and same goes to you “white boys” who don’t jump at the chance to find true love no matter what color of skin it’s in.
Bottom line to You Beautiful Black Women and women of color, you don’t have to sacrifice who you are for a white guy. They will love you anyway. Just be you and open yourself up… and if you like white guys, go for it and don’t be afraid to talk to a white guy, start up a conversation. Who knows where it will lead you?