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This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

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from movie "Something New"

Monday, May 26, 2008

What Do Women Want to Know???



Hello All,

I want to get an idea of what women want to know about men and what men think they want to know. Anything and everything is open for discussion. If you feel your topic is to personal, my email link is on my profile, so if you are so inclined you can contact me that way. This is your chance ladies to get all the answers, if I can give them to you.


Your questions and situations may relate to other topics or questions other women have, but are not sure how to put them in to words so please ask any and all questions you have.


This is your time Ladies let the questions, stories, and situations flow. If you send an email and only want me to email you back please let me know.


Thank you in advance.

31 comments:

Felicity said...

It really depends on the background of the woman, her families, she comes from her friends etc. If she comes from a healthy background, you can have a healhty relationship. We are sometimes told, we can only have one thing. We are told looks are not everything and we must like the personality, but I think that it is important to be sexually attractive to the person you are going to marry, if you like short men, tall men how nice they are won't do anything for you. There was a man, who liked tall women, he just loved them and all his girlfriends were tall, his girlfriend who he married, was tall, she just loved him and he's adorable, she said. So they were happy. Women are individuals like men, it really depends on the person. I would say for me, physical attractiveness, is important, but a good sense of humour, I'm such a giggler, romance for me is important, kindness and communication is important and a people who wants the same thing you want.

MystereDancer said...

Hi Ken, Thanks for the opportunity to ask questions!

Is marriage still important to men?

Why I ask, modern women still believe in marrige no matter how successful they are in thier careers. In fact, many women appear to be desperate in seeking marriage before a certain age.Apparently marriage is still important to women.

A Lady in the streets and a freak in the bed! Why is this concept important toward men?
IMO, this a condescending attitude that men apply to women. In other words, men define the characteristics most important to them.So,
What are the characteristics of a Lady?
Characteristics of a Freak?
Thanky you kindly for your time :)

BWtamedKen said...

Felicity said...
"Women are individuals like men, it really depends on the person. I would say for me, physical attractiveness, is important, but a good sense of humour, I'm such a giggler, romance for me is important, kindness and communication is important and a people who wants the same thing you want."

Hello Felicity,
I agree Women and men are very much individuals and thier likes and dislikes are unique to thier individuality. I also agree when it comes to wanting to marry some one you have o be attracted to them but who says that attraction is only physical or charateristc. the fact is people meet other people and can be instantly attracted to them or thier attraction can happen over time. ether way thier has to be attraction that is the start of where a relationship begins but it is not the meat of the relationship. the meat is the personality and the way each person looks at each other and the way they treat each other. thier backgrounds play roles in peoples lives but they do not define the person but geve a starting point. thier have been people who grew up in to worst of environments but came out to be some of the best people. and there have been people of privilage who basicly threw thier lives away. what some one chooses to do and to become are solely up to the individual.


Hello MystereDancer thank you fro your questions I really enjoy the oppertunity.

"Is marriage still important to men?"

In all honesty this has to be looked at on an individual basis. I am a guy who is set on marriage but I have known other men, My brother included that did not want to be married or have kids. I think in general most men reach an age when marriage is what they seek but some times it takes meeting the right woman to get them to come to that place where they want to be married. I think women desire to be married far more them men. from what i have learned about women every woman has qualities that say to them "get married, start a family" and until they do they feel like something is missing in thier lives. then they actively seek men but many times they run in to guys who are not interested in getting married at least at that point. but I think some men think about being married when they are in high school (I was one of these) but I was shy and did not know how to talk to women in all honesty I was intimidated by women. I had many crushes in HS but I never dated anyof them till I was out of high school and after boot camp. learning to be confident in ones self is a hard thing when all your life your told your funny looking or a freak of nature. but given time and oppertunity one can change thier mind set and gain confidence. Which will lead them to persue women on more active means.

"A Lady in the streets and a freak in the bed! Why is this concept important toward men?"

This is not a condesending as you might think. A lady on the street refers to how the woman is percived in society. Where as a freak in bed is refering to of course the sexuality of the couple in private.
this consept is improtant to men because like women some times just making love to your parner is not enough thier needs to be more "spice" men and women have interests when it comes to how much "spice" but the fact is this both men and women have a ciew of what they consider "spice" and how much "spice" is going to be given to thier partner. some things may appaul women where men will find it more appealing and vise verse.

"men define the characteristics most important to them."

This can also be said about women, where men want a lady on the street and a freak/ wild cat in bed. women want a gentelman on the street and a stud in bed.

"What are the characteristics of a Lady?"

By Definition a lady is A well-mannered and considerate woman with high standards of proper behavior, regarded as proper and virtuous, is spoken of or to in a polite way.

Some examples are found in royal families. basicly when a man is saying this to a woman he wants her to be socially accepted and admired. he wants to walk down the street and have every one envy him because he is with you.

Characteristics of a Freak?

By definition a freak is 1. To behave or cause to behave irrationally and uncontrollably. Often used with out, 2. To become or cause to become greatly excited or upset.Often used with out. meaning freak out. 3. An eccentric or nonconformist person.

When a man is refering to a "freak in bed" he wants his partner to be more wild in a way thay would excite him more then just making love in a usual way.


Thanks again for Your Questions and statments Please feel free to ask more if your inclined. God Bless.

Felicity said...

Ken, for me the physical and personality are equally important The way the person treats you is so important and how they approach you, in everything they do. It is so nice after many years of being together, you are still excited to see each other. I remember a man on television, who was 96 and his wife was 90, they had six children and numerous grand and great grand children and Social Services wanted to put the couple in separate homes. His wife was talking and she said it would be very upsetting for us, because in all the years we have been married, we were only separate for a short way. Her husband was crying in the background and her children and one particularly grand-daughter was so furious, the public were angry, politicians got involved, anyway the matter was resolved, the couple are still together, but I would like to be with someone like.

BWtamedKen said...

Hello, I wonder is this all the questions or comments women have on men or relationships??? If so then men are less of an enigma then women think.

MystereDancer said...

Hello, I wonder is this all the questions or comments women have on men or relationships??? If so then men are less of an enigma then women think.

Ha, LOL! Men are pretty straightforward! Although I believe men are hust as complex as women, they've been socialized to to think and act on linear terms. Some of the biggest dis-connects occur when women transfer their complex thinking patterns to men. In other words they romanticize the relationship, whereas men dont't.
But I do have more questions:
Do men disrespect women who have sex with them early in a relationship?
How early is 'early'?
How long into the chase will men get tired and give up?
Is sex the only thing women can offer men?
In terms of IR between WM/BW, what advice would you give for a BW who fears that WM only sex?
What advice would you give to WM who are afraid to approach BW for romance?
Now those questions should keep you busy for a while :)

BWtamedKen said...

Hello MystereDancer,

Thank you for your questions.
“Do men disrespect women who have sex with them early in a relationship?”
Boy this is really a loaded question. It’s been my experience that if a woman sleeps with a man early in the relationship it could go four ways; ether he will want to stay with her but expect sex almost all the time, this comes from him thinking he is “the man” and should she turn him down he may be offended or disheartened because this plays with the ego of a man. These men here are aggressive but not overly so. These guys really don’t respect anyone but themselves.
Secondly a man will decide he would be better off going after another “conquest”. This guy is the one most women tend to meet because he is the more aggressive. Women know them as “the Dogs” and let’s face it these guys don’t care enough to respect women all they respect is “getting some”.
Third this man is the one who if you do happen to have sex with him he sees it as furthering the relationship and will respect the woman. He may have his reservations about having sex to early because they don’t want to be seen in a negative way and they will want to be reassures they are not rushing the relationship by having sex with a woman.
Then there is the fourth this guy has high morals and should he and a woman have sex he may feel guilty about taking advantage of the moment. he will respect the woman but also his own self respect has been depleted. He will think he is rushing the relationship and may be uneasy around the woman for a while but this will pass. But it will take women being reassuring to him and letting him know he did not mess up or rush the relationship.

“How early is 'early'?”
hmmm this is really a personal question that each person should ask them self but normally if you have just met the guy then having sex the first date is a major mess up because you really don’t know the guy or his motives and if he is only after one thing then you will have already given it up so he will move on. Personally I think people should wait till marriage. Let me be clear here I sadly did not wait till marriage, but in retrospect I should have waited. The times I thought the relationship was going some where were the ones I had sex with my girl friend at the time, but then after the fact things changed for me and the woman our treatment of each other changed, the way we viewed each other and so on. Then the relationship ended because of some reason or another. So the best advice I can give here is to wait. So far My Queen and I have waited and we have grown much closer then I have been with any of my past relationships, I’m not saying we have not thought about sex but we try to keep the sex talk and what not to a minimum, in fact she and I both agree to not even touch because then we both know if we get comfortable touching we will want to do more then touch.

“How long into the chase will men get tired and give up?”
Lets think about why a woman wants the man to chase first then we will cover the how long will a man chase. Women want men to chase for many reasons; they love the attention, the admiration, the sense of power over a man, and the game of it all. Now as for the how long. depending on the man he will ether chase you tirelessly because he knows your “the one” or he will decide that this is to much trouble and seek out new game. Men have very different ways in which they pursue a woman but many times women may not see all the men they have after them.
Women have the “shy guy” who admires from a far unsure of what to say. This guy tends to be in the back ground but if noticed or given some kind of sign he might be accepted, he will become fairly bold - this kind of guy tends to pursue a woman for a long time until she gets married.
The overly aggressive guy also known as “the man”- this guy tends to let his ego get in the way a lot and when he pursues a woman he will bail if not given the right motivation (can you say stroke that ego).
Then you have “the dog” – women know more about this guy then any other. this guy is after one thing and will work tirelessly to get it but once obtained he will bail or he will change to his second nature and will see what else he can get from a woman such as money, free rent or what ever, he may stay with the relationships but if things start going south then so does he.
then there is other guys who will get to know women first as friends but because of them being so close to women they will be put in to the dreaded “friend zone” these guys are normally overlooked the most because women start to see them in only one way “a friend” and to change that view means the woman has to notice his advances. This guy does tend to pursue for a long time but if he feels he will never be seen as more then a friend then he will stop pursuing and go after some one else.
there is the guy who comes across as relaxed even though in side he is very nervous well call him “normal guy” this guy will pursue a woman tirelessly if given the proper motivation, or reassurance,

“Is sex the only thing women can offer men? “
This is dependant on the type of man. With the different types come different requirements.
Dogs- sex and what else they can get out of a woman.
The man- sex, ego boost, companionship, friendship.
Shy guy- companionship, sociality boost, life boost, friendship, sex.
friend zone - No longer friend zone, sex.
Normal guy – tends to have various things that women can offer him, companionship, friendship, sex and so on.

“In terms of IR between WM/BW, what advice would you give for a BW who fears that WM only sex?”
This goes in to fetish or love. If a guy only has a fetish he will not treat the woman as though she is the only one for him. No meeting the parents, or going out in public places with the friends, no major talks about how your character is amazing. The fetish guy just wants to have a woman of different color to say he had her. I consider this guy a dog type guy. Now for the BW don’t let any one treat you as though you are not worth all a man’s time. If he truly loves you he will do every thing in his abilities to talk to you, be with you, and show you total admiration and longing for you and Only You. Myself being a WM and my gf being a BW I never let her feel as though I want any one else because I don’t want any one else. I make it my “job” to make sure she knows she is loved beyond any and all other women. I make sure to always let her know I desire to be with her and look forward to the times we are together. If a man is in love he will always think of the woman. He will do all he can to keep her mind at ease about anything and every thing.

“What advice would you give to WM who are afraid to approach BW for romance?”
to those WM who want to be with a BW but are afraid every guy has faced rejection at some point and each type of woman has their own way of rejecting a guy. From what I have seen as far a racially.
Asian women tend to be more polite in the way they reject a man they say things like “I’m sorry you’re not my type” or “you seem nice but …” fill in the blank.
White women tend to be arrogant as if you don’t match up to their standards. They say things like “your cute but seriously” or “you must be in the wrong place”
Latin/ Hispanic women tend to be in between polite and arrogant. They say things like “Your sweet but I have some one” even though they really don’t, or “
Black women tend to put their attitudes in the rejection. They say things like “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Why you commin’ up on me?” or “so you THINK you can handle a BW( with head tilted and condescending smirk on face)?”
Then it goes in to type.
Valley girl this type tends to say things like “AS IF” or “LIKE REALLY?”
Snobs this type says things like “go back to your box” or” what hole did you crawl out of (pause and just be for the man speaks the cuts him off and says) Go back to it”
Normal this type is the best balance they say “I’m flattered but I ….”
Quiet this type is nervous men even asked and say things like “I…I don’t date”
Mean this type is a real pain they say “are you kidding me? (Then they go in to a 20 minute dissertation In Public about how you’ll never be good enough for them or any other woman).
Sweet this type is really easy to take the rejected from them say things like “Thank You for asking but …”
To hot for own good - personally I have never asked because I figure they always have a bf or some other guy just nipping at their heals for a date. So I have no idea what they say.
Business woman/ professional woman this woman tends to want you out of her face fast as if every minute is time spent. They say things like “Umm sorry but I don’t have the time.”

I hope I have answered your questions fully if not please let me know. Thanks again for the opportunity

Pirouette said...

Why do some men want/expect a woman to chase and pursue them?

BWtamedKen said...

Pirouette said...
"Why do some men want/expect a woman to chase and pursue them?"

Hello Pirouette,

The reason some men want a woman to chase them could be because he has been jadded by women in the past and wants to feel like he is desired before he will chase after another woman.
Or he could think he is Gods gift to women (inflated ego).
there there is the fact that men like women want to know they are the only one the woman wants. some men test women to see if they do love them by wanting the woman to chase after them.
but lets fact it most of the time men are the aggressors they chase down a woman. very few men want women to chase them and even though they want to woman to chase for a bit it is not a perminate thing the man will after some time of the woman chasing him will start to chase the woman. it just depents if the woman is willing to start the chase or if they feel the man should always be the chaser, but then one can argue about womens liberation and equality.

Anonymous said...

Hi, as a woman I believe that the man should be the one to pursue. To me it's like a cat and mouse game. Don't get me wrong I don't play games. If the man is worth it once I'm caught, I'm caught! Most women want to be deisre and feel as though a man is only interested in them. Some men have the same desire but I think it's more of the womans position and need. Besides a woman chasing a strange man can come off desperate or the man might think she is easy. Not all men but I think probably the majority. I had a man chase me but circumstances kept me from seeing how perfect he was for me at the time but as soon as I realized it, which was a divorce, a baby, and years later, I started chasing him. I did not chase aggressively, but I pursued him in my own little way. Now I have the best man for me!

BWtamedKen said...

Hello Anonymous
I see where your comming from. but i did not say a woman has to throw her self at a guy to get him to chase her. women have ways that drive men after them. My Queen for instance all she had to do was contact me and let me know she was intersted in talking to me and that she was single then I persued her. most men will chase after a woman but for the few who need to have a chase started from the woman. they don't need her to come up and say "Hey sexy get in my car" because that would be a turn off for most men and of course he would not respect her but if she was standing in line at a coffee shop and he ordered something and she was interested in him she could say "excuse me, Are those good i just can't decide what to drink do you have any suggestions?" with just a tiny bit of flerting she could have him chasing her. this don't make her seem easy or desperate but gives the guy not only a place to start talking but also lets him know your interested in him.

Jennabee said...

Why do Men want SEX, all the time???

BWtamedKen said...

Jennabee said...
"Why do Men want SEX, all the time???"
LOL well lets look at this in many ways.
Biological- men want sex because of the testosterone and endorphins men have a much higher quantity of testosterone and thus are more aggressive behavior and desire sex more. Ladies think about as if you could not have chocolate for years but were put in a room full of the delightful dessert. You could see it and smell the chocolaty goodness but could not eat it or touch it. You then get an idea what men go through on a daily basis, men’s bodies crave it. With out it men get blue balls because of men getting sexually aroused but unable to relieve the pressure of the sperm with in the testacies.
Physical - men want sex because it is Very pleasurable much like women and their craving for chocolate.
Emotional- men experience sex differently then women. some men don't let their emotions get involved but for those that do the emotional connection between the man and woman are so strong that making love or having sex with them is one of the best possible expressions of his love for her.

AlexisSky said...

Why do men trick, tell lies or things that they THINK women want to hear but do not mean them or what they say(overpromise/underdeliver)??

BWtamedKen said...

AlexisSky said...
"Why do men trick, tell lies or things that they THINK women want to hear but do not mean them or what they say(overpromise/underdeliver)??"

Hello AxexisSky,
Not all men do this sadly some do. This stems from poor moral background or lack of moral role models. The main reason some men lie and decive is to just get a woman in to bed or to get something they want. The way to stop this is to wait till marriage. Sadly some men are shameless and do and say anything to get a woman to do what they want, but conversly some women do this also but a womans motive is not always sexual.
I hope this answered your question.

This question is also a good lead in to "why do men cheat?" This queston's answer is rather vague but I will try to explain. men by nature are very sexual people even more so then women. Men crave sex, if a man is denied an outlet for his sexuality then he has three choices.
1. find an outlet in someone.
2. create an outlet himself.
or 3. suffer through until his partner is available.
Not all men cheat but when a man cheats he is looking for an outlet in someone. Thier are also other reasons a man cheats ego being one of them, greed being another, another reason why a man cheats could be lack of respect for his partner, or being unfullfilled in his sex life. but i personally feel some men cheat because of a mixture of ego, greed, and lack of respect for his partner.

Delishmish said...

Hola..
thought I would pop over and ask a q..or two

Why do men who (most of whom are really unattractive even by reasonable standards) think it is ok to yell out obsenities when a woman walks by? Do they really think a woman of quality is going to stop and have a conversation based on that approach?

Why on earth would say a "trash collector" think you as say a lawyer, would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him?

Is a man (say even a nice decent kind of guy) jealous if a woman is way more successful than him?

Look forward to your honest responses.

BWtamedKen said...

Delishmish said...
"Why do men who (most of whom are really unattractive even by reasonable standards) think it is ok to yell out obsenities when a woman walks by?"

My Response...
Personally I think this is because they know they don’t have a chance of hooking up with the woman and it’s a desperate attempt at getting attention and a major lack of respect for women. Men with respect for women and some self respect would not do such a thing. They would find away to talk to her in a more respectful way. But if it is the only time they would see a woman they would try to get the woman’s attention but still in a respectful way.

Delishmish said...
"Do they really think a woman of quality is going to stop and have a conversation based on that approach?"

My Response...
No I don’t think they do. I think they are just trying to get a look or some kind of acknowledgement from a woman who they view as untouchable.

Delishmish said...
"Why on earth would say a "trash collector" think you as say a lawyer, would be interested in pursuing a relationship with him?"

My Response...
Many times men try to get a woman of worth but sadly many women who are professionals don’t give them the time a day let alone their phone number. A job is a job and sadly not all jobs are great in fact most jobs just plain suck. Many times a man will try to find ways to get out of a job he dislikes but can’t find away. From my experiences with women I have learned if a woman asks me about my bank account it is time to run, because the woman is not interested in me but my money. Women who ask about job or bank roll often are sizing a man up. To see if he fits their want list and many many men will not fit that want list. For a professional woman to be approached by a working man even if he is a “garbage collector”, take it as a compliment, unless he comes at you with disrespect. If you find the guy kinda cute or what ever why not get to know him as a friend first then maybe something more can come of it. Dirt and things wash off but respect, class, and character lasts. It’s all about how a man comes up to talk to you.



Delishmish said...
"Is a man (say even a nice decent kind of guy) jealous if a woman is way more successful than him?"

My Response...
This depends on the man.
If the man has a big ego then YES he will feel threatened in his manhood.
If he is a “dog” he is looking at the dollar signs anyway so it’s more money for him to try and get from you.
any man threatened by a woman making more money then it is an insecurity the best way to defuse it is to find out why he feels threatened and then reassure him you need him, want him, and desire him over all the other men in the world.
Some reasons a man might feel threatened are….
Fear – fear of the woman not needing the man, fear of the woman thinking the man is a failure and possibly going after another man and so on.
Lack of bring something to the relationship- some men feel a woman making more money then him will mean he is less of a Man and will not have other things to bring to the relationship. If he has been the “money maker” and that role now goes to the woman he will wonder why you need him.
The man can be a chauvinist- a woman making the big money in the family will make him angry and he will try to have the woman leave the good paying job or try to keep his wife barefoot and pregnant. Ladies this guy views any success as a threat. Run for the hills and avoid at all costs.
Any man that does not like his woman making money is crazy. Now if the woman is lording the money over the guys head he has a reason to not want the woman to make more money. No one should gloat over another especially if they are in a relationship. Friendly proud moments are one thing. That should be shared and enjoyed but when a woman says things like “ ohhhhh how cute your months paycheck will buy the dog a nice water bowl, While MINE will pay for the house, car, movies, and a butt load of shoes.” THAT is just WRONG. If you make big money don’t belittle what your partner brings home. Enjoy your success but enjoy your partners as well.

Tori C said...

WHY DO MEN OFTEN OVER LOOK A GOOD WOMAN?
WHY DO MEN OFTEN CHASE AFTER THE ONE WHO DID HIM SO WRONG OR BROKE HIS HEART?
WHY IS IT EASIER TO WALK AWAY THEN SAYING "GOODBYE"?
WHY IS IT MEN THING "SIZE" DOESN'T MATTER?
...
WHY IS IT WHEN MEN FIND OUT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMEN IS SINGLE THEY AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER OR SHE'S DAMAGED GOODS?



I agree with the other ladies...physical attractiveness is a MUST!! Admit if we are a very VEIN society and the magazines and the Hollywood industry has unfortunately made us that way.
But 9times out of 10 I will go for the person witht the great personallity and the looks can often times come in second!

I do enjoy romance and the art dance of ACTUALLY being courted for once...guys forget about that...such rush to get you in bed and find out whats under your clothes when for me it started WAY before we hit the sheets...

Delishmish said...

Hiya...
first I want to say...you give GREAT advice..move over Dr Phil (not that I like him..mostly I junt want to kick his gloating self serving a--...but that is another topic..lol)

Really great advice..I hope you will keep answering for us...you other half is a lucky woman indeed.

Only one thing I disagree with ...I don't care for bw being told (in general..not by you in this situation..just in general)that they should seek out a blue collar type man because he could be a good man (I do like what you say @ washing off at the end of the day etc)...but that is a topic for another day

Thanks again..this is a wonderful thing you are doing here.

Have a good week

PS..you are a cute thing too..like the pics.

WMtamedMe said...

I am more than greatful to have Ken in my life. And I realize how fortunate I am that God allowed our paths to cross. You know I love you babe! ;)

MystereDancer said...

Hi Ken, I wanted to respond to your answers regarding why men want sex all the time.
I would agree with you on many points that you've made, but I disagree with your analogy of women and chocalate. It's just not a great analogy to compare basic physiological drives with the eating of food. On one hand it implies that women do not want or desire sex, which isn't true. Also there is no biological drive to eat chocolate even though media says women LOVE chocolate.
As a 46 yr young woman, my experience tells me there are two sides to this answer. YOUNG men seem to want sex all the time....but lack the experience and selflessness to make it an enjoyable experience for the woman. In other words men that want sex all the time are seeking to GET pleasure for themselves and not SHARE/GIVE pleasure. OLDER men may still want sex, but understands that a woman's desires and needs are just as important as his own. They are more willing to take the time to know a woman and thereby letting her meet him halfway.
In terms of physiology, men are wired differently. But not necessarily based on the need for pleasure, but the inherent biological drive to mate. Since male orgasm/ejaculation is s simultaneous event, procreation can't happen without it. Women, conversely, have an emotional desire to mate AS well as a physical one. A female does not need to have an orgasm to become pregnant, procreation is tied to her menstrual cycle. Her desire to procreate with a man, is based on her emotional attachment to him and not backed up hormones and unfertilized eggs LOL!

BWtamedKen said...

Delishmish said...
"Only one thing I disagree with ...I don't care for bw being told (in general..not by you in this situation..just in general)that they should seek out a blue collar type man because he could be a good man (I do like what you say @ washing off at the end of the day etc)...but that is a topic for another day"

Hello Delishmish,
I'm not saying that a bw can't get a professional man. the question refered to a woking man a "garbage collector" so i refered my answer to that job and other jobs that most people find discusting. A bw can have any man she desired if given the right oppertunity. if the guy is already taken though why bother going after him but if he is single and your attrackted to him why not show a little interest more often then not a man will approach her and talk after he has seen she is a little interested in him.

Thank you for the commliments, My Queen and I are both very lucky. btw My Queen is wmtamedme.

BWtamedKen said...

Hello MystereDancer
Women and their desire for chocolate are highly publicized and socially generalized it was the best analogy I could think of at the time, sorry if I offended or any one else. I know women desire sex but they do so in a subtle way where men are more blatant.

I agree with most of the things you have stated but also not all men are driven by just stimulus alone most yes but not all. Some also have to have emotional stimulus as well. The need to procreate is also imbedded in women in fact many women at younger ages get this urge to be mothers and such, while most men are off playing GI Joe or cops and robbers.

The differences in men and women are very different women are nurturing, enduring, and loving in her own ways, where men are combative, protective, and loving in his own ways. Not every woman is like this, nor every man. We both men and women are driven by desires to mate/ love, succeed, and live.

BWtamedKen said...

Tori C said...
"WHY DO MEN OFTEN OVER LOOK A GOOD WOMAN?
WHY DO MEN OFTEN CHASE AFTER THE ONE WHO DID HIM SO WRONG OR BROKE HIS HEART?
WHY IS IT EASIER TO WALK AWAY THEN SAYING "GOODBYE"?
WHY IS IT MEN THING "SIZE" DOESN'T MATTER?
...
WHY IS IT WHEN MEN FIND OUT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMEN IS SINGLE THEY AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER OR SHE'S DAMAGED GOODS?
I agree with the other ladies...physical attractiveness is a MUST!! Admit if we are a very VEIN society and the magazines and the Hollywood industry has unfortunately made us that way. "

Thank you Tori for the questions, I will try to explain as best I can.

“WHY DO MEN OFTEN OVER LOOK A GOOD WOMAN?” this happens because some men feel the grass is greener on the other side. But what they don’t see is that the woman they have is amazing. Because of our society, morals, and just life in general we always think there is better for us. I’m not saying all men do this. But in all honesty the young do this the most mostly because the THINK they can do better.

“WHY DO MEN OFTEN CHASE AFTER THE ONE WHO DID HIM SO WRONG OR BROKE HIS HEART?”
this one is hard to explain but I will do my best. Just as a woman tries to change a man men try to change a woman. Not all mind you but some. When a man goes back to a woman who hurts him or treated him badly it’s because he thinks he can’t find better. I dated a woman who was the worst woman I ever dated because I though that was the best I could do, but after I came to my senses I dumped her and told her to keep the ring I wanted nothing to do with her. When a man has been in so many bad relationships it affects his mind so that any woman even one who treats him wrong will seem to be the best he can get. The way to break this cycle is to look realistically at things “keep it real” as My Queen says. A failed relationship is hard on every one if they put their hearts and emotions in to it. Many times women think that men don’t feel any thing because men don’t show the emotion all the time. Men are very introverted where women are extroverted. Meaning men try to keep the pain inside where women let it out. This stems from the old phrase real men don’t cry or what ever one you wish to lay out their. In truth real men do cry but they do so away from others. With our society the way it is more men are showing emotion which is a good thing but also more women try to keep it in. so getting back to the question the sweet and simple is because the man don’t think he can do better, or he could be just trying to “get some”.

WHY IS IT EASIER TO WALK AWAY THEN SAYING "GOODBYE"?
I take it this is when you’re breaking up or leaving for a long time. If you’re breaking up your emotions are so chaotic that speaking becomes hard and even if you manage to say something it more often then not becomes an indefinable blob. Like trying to say something with your mouth completely full of marbles or marshmallows. This is also the same for when some one is leaving for a long time. You know you will see the person again but it still hurts to say goodbye. Doing so means you won’t see them again to many people. I personally don’t like saying goodbyes because to me the mean something final or absolute. I have been getting better about not thinking of them this way.

WHY IS IT MEN THING "SIZE" DOESN'T MATTER?
LOL well most men have penus envy. But only a few think size don’t matter. In all honesty more women think size doesn’t matter. if you want to know more do a searh about average penus size or penus envy on google.

WHY IS IT WHEN MEN FIND OUT AN ATTRACTIVE WOMEN IS SINGLE THEY AUTOMATICALLY ASSUME SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH HER OR SHE'S DAMAGED GOODS?
Most men see a attractive woman and automatically think “oh she’s to hot to not have a boyfriend.” Or “she has a boyfriend”. If they approach they assume the hot girl has a boyfriend when they find out they don’t they then think “ok why? she’s hot!” it does not cross his mind she may not have liked the guy or what ever. so to you beautiful women if a guy asks you this just say “ because we just met.” Or “because you have not been in my life.” this will let the guy know your interested and that he might have a chance. If you don’t find him attractive or what have you then say “because my last boyfriend was like you.” or “because the last guy has some impudence problems.” or my best one is “because I’m an axe murder wanted in 45 states and 50 countries they call me black widow.”

Tori C said...

Thanks for your answers Ken-
I will say assume MOST men are jerks cause most truely are.
A good man is one and a million so try to be as honest with every guy you meet and hope for the best. I have found that its easier to get over being "disappointed" than mending a broken heart..

Tori

Tori C said...

Thanks for your answers Ken-
I will say assume MOST men are jerks cause most truely are.
A good man is one and a million so try to be as honest with every guy you meet and hope for the best. I have found that its easier to get over being "disappointed" than mending a broken heart..

Tori

BWtamedKen said...

Tori C said...
"Thanks for your answers Ken-
I will say assume MOST men are jerks cause most truely are.
A good man is one and a million so try to be as honest with every guy you meet and hope for the best. I have found that its easier to get over being "disappointed" than mending a broken heart.."

Hello Tori,
I have to agree that mending a broken heart is worst then being disappointed. as for the most men being jerks well I know there are many, but I hope most men are good men.

L'V.L said...

Hello, I first want to say, I love your blog. You seem like one of the few good men left on the planet. My question - "Why is it so hard for a man to accept the fact that some women are still virgins in their 20's?"
Ok, I have a second part "Why do they run when you tell them your a virgin?" Thanks, L'V.L

BWtamedKen said...

L'V.L said...
"My question - "Why is it so hard for a man to accept the fact that some women are still virgins in their 20's?"
Ok, I have a second part "Why do they run when you tell them your a virgin?" Thanks, L'V.L"

Hello L'V.L,
Well if some one manages to make it to thier 20's with out being sexual then congrats are in order. in todays society we are bombarded with sexual inuendoes and pictures all over the place from T.V. to billboards to magazines. for some one to have lasted 20's with out doing anything sexual with some one is to be admired in my humble opinion. as for your questions,

"Why is it so hard for a man to accept the fact that some women are still virgins in their 20's?"
well this is not easily answered but i think this is because of todays society and what kids are tought at such a young age. we see on the news and read in the papers about how a girl of 13-17 is having a child or an abortion. so for some men finding a woman who has been vigilent in maintaining her virginity is some times hard to find. personally i blame parents and the school system for the lack of morals as far as sex is conserned, we teach kids so young how to have sex but rarely do we teach them when to or why to, which is the duty of the parent. i personally think our society views sex as just an entertainment quality to be exployted which is very sad indeed.

"Why do they(men) run when you tell them your a virgin?"
because of todays society many people think to be a virgin today means your a prude or some kind of hermit, or thier is something wrong with you, but in all honesty if a woman is a virgin then she should not be treated like that she should be congratulated for maintaining and holding out till marriage. when i was in the navy most of the guys wanted to meet a virgin but not because they cared about her or wanted to marry her, but because they wanted to have a "conquest" in uncharted territory, treating a woman as if she was some kind of land to pillage or plunder. so to you women who have not given up your virginity and are waiting till marriage be mindful of the way society views sex and be strong to not give your virginity to just some guy who will not remember your name in the morning. women are a gift to men but sadly some men view them as just some kind of entertainment or a land deal. so ladies becareful and mindful.

Jess said...

Ken, do you know of more blogs,besides wm who prefer bw, about wm/bw relationships,written by wm?

BWtamedKen said...

Jess said...
"Ken, do you know of more blogs,besides wm who prefer bw, about wm/bw relationships,written by wm?"

You might find one thru links I like. or you could do a search with google, but becareful most of the things i found doing a search were porn sites or some other degrading sites. if I find any I will post them here. right now though I have alot on my plate so to speak.