Welcome to Romance and Relationship

This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

Feel free to leave comments on my blog and how I might make it better.

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from movie "Something New"

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Why I Love My Black Queen


I have seen on other blogs that Black women don’t feel they are the first choice for a white man. So I will now tell you why this white man chooses Black women and really the one black woman I am now with.
When My Queen and I first talked it was 4 years ago. She was my cousin’s friend. She was having problems with her boyfriend / fiancée. She and I talked for a while and I truly fell in love for this woman. The way she was captivated me and made me want to talk to her more and more. she had such a moral based style about her and more then that she was Godly and forgiving and compassionate. The things she told me she did for her man made me want some one to do them for me and I’m not talking sexually, I’m talking taking her guy out for a picnic, cuddling on the beach, just loving him as a woman loves a man. I have dated many types of women but have not had a woman do those things for me. she and I hit it off so well I knew there was chemistry there far more then ether of us were ready for. I knew she was the one woman I wanted to be with, but she was with another guy who was doing her wrong. it did not mean anything to me that he was a black guy, he was treating her like a dog and going behind her back and doing things no man or person should do when they are in a relationship. Anyway after a while she decided to tell me she could not talk to me any more, because she was with some one. I always thought I came on too strong, but I did try to take to her again and she would not respond. So I was honor bound to oblige her request, plus f I had continued she would have gotten a very bad image of me. I did not want to let her go but she made her choice I could only hope and pray she would change her mind.
After a few months my cousin told me My Queen married the guy. I was upset to say the least if I would have known when the day was I would have tried to stop it, but sadly My Queen did not let my cousin know and therefore I could do nothing. More time passed and I kept asking about My Queen from my cousin (I know my cousin was getting really tired of me asking about My Queen.) after a while my cousin told me My Queen was coming to town, I was excited and overjoyed at the chance of seeing her, but wondered why she was coming, come to find out her new husband had attacked her and was acting a fool. I never wanted to send someone to the ICU more in my life, but he way her husband and I had to remind myself she made her choice. I again could only hope and pray she would get away from him. During the time I heard she was now married till the time she was coming to town I prayed that her marriage would work, I even stopped dating I did not want another woman she was the only one I truly wanted and I knew it.
My Queen did come and gave birth to a beautiful child but she did not see me. Then she went back to him. I was devastated. I have had many friends be in relationships where a guy did not treat the woman well at all and they just stayed with him no matter how badly he treated her. I was grieved to think My Queen would be one of those relationships.
After this I could not bare to continue asking about My Queen. I stayed away from people and just waited and amerced myself in games and things that where complicated so I would not think about My Queen, I gave the picture I had of her to my cousin and erased all the things I had for her except some things I really liked that I could use for other things or maybe even other relationships should my heart grow back.
Over time one of my ex-girlfriends called me and wanted me to give her another chance I figured sure why not I have not dated any one in over 2 to 3 years and the One woman I wanted was now married. So she and I talked for a bit but it was a long distance relationship. She never really opened up to me and I really never opened up to her but I opened up as much as I could eventually she just stopped calling. I never really knew why until recently she was doing drugs and did not want to open up to me. so she just left me and then dated other people. While I still waited eventfully I got the hint she no longer wanted to talk to me so I just kept busy. One night at work a girl called asking for my cousin she sounded sweet and when I told my cousin he told me she would not leave him alone I figured why don’t she talk to me. (Note to self this was the time you messed up).
Well I did talk to her more and then I even dated her she was nothing that I thought she was she did every thing in her power to use me abuse me and then I found out she still wanted my cousin. After I left her months passed. Then I started talking to an old friend from high school. We talked for month but nothing really started she was a black women and I cherished her friendship and even wanted to see if a relationship would work, but she insisted a long distance relationship would not work between us and their for I was just a friend. Well after a little while I decided to just keep her as a friend and I let her know she was just a friend. She said it was for the best. And a few weeks after this My Queen emailed me she had decided to get a divorce because she could take no more and her husband was not even trying to keep her in fact he was doing every thing he could to push her out the door. This pained me, because My Queen deserved so much better. She never wanted to get a divorce never wanted to be hurt like this and I knew it. I asked her if she was sure she wanted to go threw with it, she said yes she was. She and I talked more and more and t was as if time had stood still.
As we talked My Heart burned livelier then it had in years and my imagination soared anew (which is a big deal for a graphic artist). My Queen told me she wanted to just be friends and I was ok with that. We talked for months and every time we talked time flew by as if she and I were moving so slow. After a little while I could not take it any longer I laid all my thoughts and cards out on the table I told her I loved her and that she was the Only One I wanted. She was taken back by this because she thought I would not talk to her let alone tell her my undying love for her. We continued to talk and just see how things we between us. She did not feel right about talking to me while she was going threw the divorce so we decided to stop talking again(this truly killed me to have her again and have to let her go this was just wrong) but I knew she was right and I would not wish for her to feel strange or pushed. I told her I understood and sent her a lasting message, one that was letting her know all my hopes and dreams about us and so on and that if she was unsure that I would understand if she decided to not go threw with the divorce there was no pressure because I did not want to be the reason she got the divorce. The next day when I could not talk to her I started a book for her( this was love letters for her, even though I did not know if she was going to come back to me or what not) then when I saw her lasting message to me it blew my mind! She said she loved me and wanted to spend the rest of her Life with me. I was floored; I read that letter over and over. After a while I was just waiting and then out of the blue she called and told me she was not going to not talk to me. I was overjoyed to have her speaking to me again. This beautiful woman never ceases to amaze me. We have talked for over 5 months now as a couple and she is the only woman on this planet I want to be my bride. Right now we are in a long distance relationship, it’s hard but she and I both know it’s for the best she and I both want to wait till marriage and being so far from each other makes the temptation easier. Soon I will move to where she is and soon I will be with her. She is My Beloved Queen.
Well I know this does not tell all the reasons I love My Queen but it shows what she and I have endured. I love her for all that she is. I knew she was the one from the first week I spoke to her. Her heart is golden, she is virtuous, she is thoughtful, she is just as loyal as I am to a relationship. And she is just amazing. She and I have not had a single fight she knows my heart and I know hers. Skin color has nothing to do with it. It’s the personality and the way she is with me and the way I am with her, that makes our relationship work. There are times I feel unworthy to have a woman such as her in my life let alone her love. There is truly nothing (with in reason), I would not do to please My Queen. Well I hope you can see why I love this Black woman, if not then you are not then let me just say I love this Beautiful Black woman because of who she is. She is strong, smart, intelligent, kind, sweet, nurturing, Godly, Virtuous, merciful, forgiving, loyal, and so much more she is truly amazing. She is truly a Gem of God.

Have a Great day and God Bless.

12 comments:

Sandra77 said...

Hi, Ken, I just found your blog today, via a link from Halima's blog. Congratulations on your new blog - you can add me a regular reader! Keep blogging.

CW said...

This is a wonderful blog! Keep posting...

Tori C said...

HELLO...
Love your blog! I will be reading it often!!
Great place to talk about relationships and matters of the heart in a "positive" light...
Keep the good things happening here
and God Bless..

Tori

Phantom Mare said...

This is a very sweet blog. I love it.

Tori C said...

WOW I re-read your story of you and your queen!! What a struggle it has been that lead you to this but again I wish you both nothing but happiness and please post more beautiful pictures...

Tori

Anonymous said...

Hello Ken. I found your blog link via Ebony Women and Ivory Men. Absolutely beautiful story! I'll be back!

Felicity said...

I found the link via Ebony women Ivory man, myself and the story is so beautiful, I had a very nasty day today with a friend and I was so upset, but reading this story, is just wonderful.

Anonymous said...

Ken, How do the lies that black men spew abt black women affect non-black men's perception of us regarding dating?

BWtamedKen said...

Anonymous said...
Ken, How do the lies that black men spew abt black women affect non-black men's perception of us regarding dating?

I have not talked to black men about black women for three reasons.
1. I don't know many black men and all of them don't say anything about black women to me.
2. I tend not to care what other people think of others unless it is some one who I value as a friend, family member or my GF/future wife. any one else I take thier input very lightly. and last but hardly least
3. lets face it men and women have to really work to understand one another getting input from a guy about a generlized view of women is just as bad as me getting advice from a woman with a generlized view of men.
every person is unique and have thier own individual characteristics. you can not really generalize them in to a nice neat little lable. doing so leads to sterotypes.

Anonymous said...

thanks for your response,Ken!

Velvet said...

Aww, that is such a sweet story. I can tell by reading your blog that you're a very special man and any woman would be lucky to have your love. Thanks for sharing! :)

I'm a Black woman and I'm also in a long distance relationship with my fiance, who is White, so I know how you feel. I hope you two will be together soon. :)

Anonymous said...

hi ken. I'm from london, UK and i've just come across your blog. your post 'why i love my black queen' was heavy (i.e. brilliant)!! it was really inspiring; i pray that God allows a man like yourself to enter my life and enrich it. i wish you and your black queen a long, prosperous and positively challenging marriage. much love and blessings!


Chi-Chi, UK