Welcome to Romance and Relationship

This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

Feel free to leave comments on my blog and how I might make it better.

Thanks for visiting Have a great day and God Bless

from movie "Something New"

Monday, April 21, 2008

About the Romance…


Ok I have been asked on many occasions to talk to men and women about romance. Not that I’m some kind of genius or guru on romance but because I do things in such a way that many women have said “I wish my man did that” or “could you talk to my Boyfriend for me.” but before I begin…

I have some words for the men who would abuse what I am going to say to just get in to a woman’s pants and abuse women. Now to the boys who play games with women’s hearts. Wake Up, you give every man a bad name and disgrace us all with your foolishness. Playing games just to “get some” from a woman is foolish not to mention stupid. With all the STD’s going around you think you will not get at least one. stop Playing the field and step up and be a Man not a BOY.

Ok continuing on, first thing is this. Women if you are not being treated right and by right I mean if your guy hits you or curses you out. LEAVE that sorry excuse for a man behind. Any man who will hit you or degrade you does not truly love you. and same goes for men who get degraded by women and maybe even abused my women.

When you start a relationship it is always good to have time to be “over” your previous ex. Never jump from one relationship to another. All you’re doing is using the new relationship to get over the last. This is unhealthy and is doomed to fail before the true romance even begins.
Now to women a word of warning. If you can’t be romantic and not be sexual with some one then it is best to just not be romantic with that some one. Many men will try to just get one thing from a woman; you women know what that is. The basic need for men is to be sexual it starts with puberty. Men start seeing women differently and start seeing the way women start filling out and desire to have them.

One thing I have to say is in my personal experience it is better to wait till marriage before getting sexually involved. This way should the relationship fail you will not be hurt as much as if you did have sexual things happen. Also waiting till marriage will chase off the guys who only want one thing. Many of the men out there who only want sex will not go through all the hard work to get a woman who is waiting. They will try to persuade her to “give it up” but if they fail and continue to fail they will leave and find some one else. This is not a bad thing Ladies!

When out on a first date never kiss, or go any farther then just getting to know one another with out sexual contact. No hand holding and such. Because men are visual and touchy creatures, where women are emotional and touchy creatures. That being said ladies’ looking good does not mean wearing next to nothing to get a man wanting to be sexual with you. Men will see you wearing something and imagine you naked anyway why spoil his imagination leave him wanting more. This will drive him to want to try harder to make you happy so that you will show more. If a woman shows to much a man will not respect her as if a woman show only just enough.

Now about respect, ladies respecting your selves and having confidence will drive a man to you. He will respect you for not giving in to sexual advances too early in the new relationship. Many will probably give me Hate mail or comments for saying this but a woman who shows to much does not want to be respected because she shows men she don’t respect herself. Ladies I can not stress this enough you do not have to look like the sexy models to get a man, just look good. Don’t show your “girls” off to early let the man work for the privilege of seeing your “ladies”.

Now to men, I have said before women are emotional and touchy creatures. So be emotionally there for them. show them what they mean to you. flowers on special occasions are good but flowers, candies and something else speaks a lot more of your love for them. doing something as simple as making a custom CD of the music you like that has a romantic under tone, helps women to see your way of things. Getting a flower “just because” is something women love.
I was getting gas at a Texaco station one time and I saw some roses where there I had the money and I decided to get as many as I could. A woman behind me in line said “ohhhhh some one’s in the dog house.” With out hesitation I said “no, I’m rarely in the dog house” so she said “so what are the flowers for?” I said “just because.” She was shocked and then asked me “could you talk to my boyfriend?” I said “it would not help, a man has to want to do it, he can’t be forces to do it.”

What I said was true you could force a man to get you flowers but then the flowers will have a different meaning they would not be because he loves you they would be because he wants to shut you up.

Now let me say this, the little things that each of you do in your relationship will help make your relationship strong and full of romance. when your out and about getting flower for your partner "just because", or if your walking some where and you see some thing that reminds you of your loved one and can afford it, buy it as a gift of love. Relationships are work with out a doubt, but you can ether enjoy the work or dread it. The choice is up to you.

6 comments:

Felicity said...

Ahh, that is so beautiful and so true and I remember, when a friend came to visit me and he bought my some flowers, it was so beautiful, my husband at the time, said he was a prat, no longer after that I filed for a divorce, and I realised I deserved better.

BWtamedKen said...

I'm sorry you had to go threw a devorce over that. getting a guy to think out side of him self is hard he has to want to do it just like getting a woman to do things is hard she also has to want to do it. romance is not easy and relationships are even harder but if you love one another and are willing to endure love, romance and relationships are a major blessing, but they don't come easy.

Pirouette said...

Ken, I just discovered your blog and really like it. Thank you for sharing your experiences and advice!

Anonymous said...

Hello, BWtamedKen. I stumbled upon your blog a couple of days ago and you seem like a Godly man based on the sweet things you've said about "My Queen" and the statement you wrote about it being better to wait until marriage to have sex. You mentioned that you are planning to marry your queen and that she is divorced. I'm assuming that her first husband is still alive. Are you sure you want to marry this woman based on what Matthew
5:32 says? You seem to be a spiritual person and from what I've seen with 2nd marriages, they don't work, no matter how loving the signifigant other may be. Other things to take into consideration is that this woman has a child and she is an African American. Are you sure you are emotionally strong enough to take the stares and maybe negative comments of strangers for the rest of your life if you are still adamant about marrying your queen? If falling in love and marrying a black woman is what you want, couldn't you have found a "never been married before" black woman. There are still plenty of them out there.

BWtamedKen said...

Anonymous said...
"You mentioned that you are planning to marry your queen and that she is divorced. I'm assuming that her first husband is still alive. Are you sure you want to marry this woman based on what Matthew 5:32 says? You seem to be a spiritual person and from what I've seen with 2nd marriages, they don't work, no matter how loving the signifigant other may be. Other things to take into consideration is that this woman has a child and she is an African American. Are you sure you are emotionally strong enough to take the stares and maybe negative comments of strangers for the rest of your life if you are still adamant about marrying your queen? If falling in love and marrying a black woman is what you want, couldn't you have found a "never been married before" black woman. There are still plenty of them out there."

Hello, to answer your first question
Anonymous said..."Are you sure you want to marry this woman based on what Matthew 5:32 says?"
Matthew 5:32 (King James Version)
32"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."
I can not tell you all the reasons why she devorced him but I can say She is Blamless befor God. she was the one who was wronged by her ex husband. so Yes I want to Marry Her even though she was devorced, she tryed every thing she could to get him to change his ways and be the Godly man he portrayed but he didnot try any thing he just kept doing what he was doing and then lost her. but My Queen is Blamless not because of what I say but because of what the bible says.

Anonymous said..."from what I've seen with 2nd marriages, they don't work, no matter how loving the signifigant other may be."

Second marriages work only if the person who got devorced has time to heal if they go from one marriage right in to another with out time to get over the past relationship then yes I see your point but My Queen and I will have time lots of time and space for her to get over her ex.

Anonymous said..."Are you sure you are emotionally strong enough to take the stares and maybe negative comments of strangers for the rest of your life if you are still adamant about marrying your queen?"

My Queen and her Child are the two people in my life I would want no matter what. If some one looks at us or comments then so what. I am happy with My Queen and the Little one. Other peoples oppinions of me have vary rarely affected me. I'm a red headed step child, who ate paint when I was little and was droped on my head when I was a baby. so people have made comments about me all my life and let me tell you words can hurt but only if you let them. so am I "Emotionally Strong Enough?" I believe so. Red heads are singled out because they stand out in a crowd and many times are picked on when they are younger more then most kids. You have to build a strong skin.

Anonymous said... "If falling in love and marrying a black woman is what you want, couldn't you have found a "never been married before" black woman. There are still plenty of them out there."

true i could have found another black woman who did not have a child or ws married but one thing i have learned is that if you find some one who changes you for the better, makes your world stop and you have such a connection with. then that person is one you should not let go of. time tells if she is the one and yes My Queen is THE ONE. when I go out in town and I see other women I think of My Queen. so why would I go in to another relationship just to be thinking of My Queen? It would not be fair to the woman I would be dating.

I hope I have answered all of your questions and concerns. let me know if I have not and thank you for your comments.

BWtamedKen said...

Pirouette said...
"Ken, I just discovered your blog and really like it. Thank you for sharing your experiences and advice!"

Your welcome. I hope that I can help even though I'm no expert or Guru. every one has experences they can learn from and advise to give it's just amatter of giving that advice in a way that is not going to put others on the defensive or offend them. Thank you for your comment.