Just a few Words

This topic is close to my heart. I have been in more long distance relationships then close, and let me tell you it is not easy. Recently My Queen and I have been in a 3000 mile relationship, which we have been in for over a year. In many ways log distance romances are incredibly hard. To make it work both people need to encourage each other and to be there for each other far more then if they were close to each other. In a close relationship you can hold your partner and tell them everything is going to be all right. But in a long distance you have to think out side the box and give encouragement in different ways. Sending flowers is good but it only helps a little, spending a lot of time listening to each other is very helpful, especially if you are giving encouragement with every talk. Being able to webcam is very effective. But how does one deal with the hold me impulse. All one can do is endure it, find a pillow or item your partner gave you and squeeze it. Dealing with long distance is not easy. You have to take everything day to day and endure the distance and time. Make time to spend with your loved one and still deal with life around you.
A typical day for me is waking up calling My Queen, then praying, then working around the house till My Queen calls me from her work, then work on some small projects, until My Queen calls me again before she goes to class, then I just relax a bit, rest and do what ever until My Queen calls me when she is out of class. At the end of the day I have spent most of the time on the phone with My Queen. This lets her know I am interested in her life and happenings that I am willing to put everything on hold. When I am at work I do my job but I still try and give as much time to her as possible. Many times we both get busy and have to forgo a day or so till we can reconnect. Telling everything about your day helps the relationship grow stronger and even builds trust. When we treat every talk like a date it helps to further the relationship but it still takes doing things a day at a time. Hardships arise when your in a long distance relationship that many times you can’t control. Many fears, many worries. But if both of you work and endure the time the rewards of building that relationship long distance will show in your close one. I am soon moving to Florida I will be there around or before March 13th. When I get to Florida I am looking forward to building on the ground work we have and expanding My Queen and my relationship to new highs neither of us have ever had. We will adapt from long distance to close distance and grow because of it. If you can endure a long distance relationship dealing with the loneliness, the want, the desire, and all of the emotions that run rapid over you. Then being close will be different but easier. Planning dates will be an adventure and will allow you to learn more about each other and of the area. Working and finding time to get together will be a challenge because you will want to spend all of your time with your partner. Calling is still going to happen but you may talk for only a few minuets rather then five hours. Just to set up a date or time to see one another. Basically what I am saying is that no matter what relationship you’re in you have to encourage each other and think out side the box and the transitions from one stage of your relationship to another should be seen as a building of your relationship. Every one goes through hardships but enduring them has greater rewards then just starting over or giving up. when your in a long distance relationship you have to look past the physical and look at the heart of the person. This is what should take place in what ever relationship you are in. take each day as a gift and look at the heart of the people you interact with. Some may repulse you others may attract you but if you are only looking at the physical then you will miss out on a whole lot more.
May God Bless You and Yours.
Ken

I am going to be off line for a while because of the move. When I get internet back I will post again. In the mean time I hope you all grow in your relationships and find the one Go has for you. God Bless

How to treat a nice guy

I was recently told that when a woman has been dogged out all her life by men, when she gets a good man, she don’t know how to act. This has many implications she don’t know how to treat him, she messes up, she just can’t figure out what he wants. Well let me explain this one so it is clear (I hope). When some one is treated bad in their relationships they build up walls defenses that they use to protect them selves. One of the things the new relationship has to do is be patient and let the woman bring down the defenses. After that the woman can start to be guided and then freed from the past. yes she will still have some times when she is haunted by the experiences but that is where more patients is needed.
As for how to treat him Everyone has heard of the golden rule right? treat others the way you want to be treated. It applies here too. If you want to be treated like a Queen then treat your man like a King. I’m not saying everything will be perfect, but I am saying that when women treat men with respect, love, admiration. the man will have what he wants. Now for the she messes up- Relationships take work on both parts. When hard times come, be honest and straight up. show respect to each other and don’t play games. Playing games only leads to being alone.
Building a relationship takes all our lives. it is not just a few years and then you can sit back and enjoy the ride. There are ups and downs every one must face. This is when you truly know you love one another if you can weather the storms of life. The blessings you will reap after the storms are worth enduring them. But you must be mindful of the dangers. Don’t be naive and put your self in situations where you will end up hurting each other. Think and be mindful of the way things are heading. Many times people put them selves in situations that they don’t mean to be in but because they become complacent and think they are untouchable they traverse the dangers and more often then not they get bit. Many times to the destruction of the relationship they wish to hold on to. But if you endure and show grace, compassion, mercy basically Love you will have a stronger relationship then ever before. I hope all of you are able to endure the hard times as well as be overjoyed with the good times of your relationships.

God Bless You and Yours