Welcome to Romance and Relationship

This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

Feel free to leave comments on my blog and how I might make it better.

Thanks for visiting Have a great day and God Bless

from movie "Something New"

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ask Ken Section


Hello All,

Here is your section to ask me Questions get advice and what ever you want. feel free to comment about what ever is on your mind, love, life, whatever.


One thing though- please be clean I would not like to have to delete comments because they were to vulgar or demeaning to others. other then that have a blast and let the communication flow.

Giving an update




Hello All,


well things have been going great for My Queen and I. My Queen came to visit me in August and things were simply Amazing. I truly did not want her to go back to Florida. Sadly she did because of the responsibilities she has there. Not to worry though we will be together soon God Willing. I took alot of pictures of My Queen and My Little Angel. that i have posted a few here.


Further News - Well I asked her dad for her hand in marriage, he took time to think about it and then said for us to wait till i moved down there. So in responce to this i am working two jobs and saving as much as I can to get down to My Queen. Other then that I am just taking care of my responcibilities here trying to sell my house to my parents and pay off my truck and then move to Florida.




The second job thing is going well so far but it makes me tired and what not so sorry if i'm not posting like normal. if you still want advice about things i am still here, just send me an email or post it in the ask Ken section I am setting up.
Well I Hope to hear from you and hope you have many Blessings upon you.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Adding Meaning, Adds Romance

Over the years I have learned to add meaning to most if not all of what I do for my girlfriend. Getting a gift of flowers for instance is a great thing but getting the flowers that have very specific meanings add more romance to the flowers and thus creates more intimacy with my girlfriend. In life every thing has a meaning. Applying a meaning to something is fairly simple; it just depends on how you want to add it or what you want to say.

You may have noticed a message I left for my Queen a few post ago. This message can only be interpreted by My Queen because she has the key to decipher it.

As I said everything has a meaning so let’s look at flowers, colors, then gifts them selves.

Flowers are one of the best ways to say something to someone you love. Each flower has its own meaning. So you can easily create a special message for someone by looking at the meaning and then just picking up the flower.
There are plenty of web sites that give meanings of flowers when you do a google search for meanings of flowers. Some web sites are;
http://www.aboutflowers.com/floral_b5.html
http://www.iflorist.com/en/act/meaning/
http://www.juneauempire.com/weddings/story/beauty/flowersmeanings.shtml

I have found that adding a special message to your loved one not only lets them know you love them but you can basically say anything you wish to them good or bad.

You could also create your own meanings to flowers and then make a code for your loved one to decipher this shows you put a lot of work in to a simple message that shows you have a vested interest in your loved one. Let’s face it when you are imaginative in your love life your love life is fun and exciting no matter what. Who don’t like getting a special message or knowing that only they can know the message once they decipher it?

When I was studding art in high school and college I learned that colors have meanings. You can use colors in your love life by what you wear or by the color of flowers you give or just be creative with how you use color. For those who are color blind, black and white and grey all have meanings as well, you can add your own meanings to each of them and then add other meanings based on what you get.
Let’s say you get a red rose that is thorn less. Since you can’t see the red but see a darker color ether black or a shade of grey, you can say the grayish black color means your timeless and stylish, the rose means “true love”, and the fact it’s thorn less could mean “you have no flaws to me” so the whole message could say “you’re a timeless, stylish, true love that has no flaws to me.” Simple sweet and very meaningful if given to and by someone you really love.

Colors can also affect some ones mood. Here are some meanings and mood affects for colors:

Black
Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White
Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red
The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue
The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green
Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow
Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple
The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown
Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors of the Flag
In the U.S. flag, white stands for purity and innocence. Red represents valor and hardiness, while blue signifies justice, perseverance, and vigilance. The stars represent the heavens and all the good that people strive for, while the stripes emulate the sun's rays.

Food for Thought
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.

Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

Well there you have a nice little list of what colors mean and how they affect your mood. Now let’s look at gifts.
Gifts can be simple or elaborate ether way adding meaning to them makes them timeless and sentimental. If you give your girlfriend a necklace add some kind of meaning to it. Lets say you get a diamond necklace this is easy diamonds are “a girls best friend” right? So you could get the necklace in a shape your girlfriend will like a favorite animal or a heart or what ever. Then just think about how long you have been together get enough diamonds for each year or make it a mixed necklace. Say you and your girlfriend have been together for 5 years two of the years were spent apart. So you get her a diamond necklace with three nicely cut diamonds and two other stones your girlfriend likes. Then the necklace means the time way from you were emeralds and the time together are diamonds. The biggest stone is of her favorite animal or heart and is a diamond. So now not only does it mean something about your relationship it also means something more to her because you remembered her favorite animal or you gave your heart to her.

Well I hope you have found this insightful and useful. When in a relationship be creative and think of what your partner’s favorite things are and make your gifts and flowers and so on tailored to give romance to your relationship. It takes time but what is a little time out of your day to give joy to the one you love?

Sorry I've been away

Hello Everyone sorry i have not posted anything or been around for a while. things have been rather crazy at my home. in short i have been going to and from hospitals and doctors for my parents, working on the house and finding time to be with My Queen. over all I have been busy. I will try to post some thing new soon I hope you all are doing great. God Bless.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

7 Songs I'm listening to right now......
1. Rebecca St. James - Wait for Me
2. Duawne Starling - With This Ring
3. Ambasitor - Love Song
4. UB40 - The way you doThe things you do
5. Mercy Me - No More No Less
6. Craig David - Can't Be Messing around
7. Toby Mac - Lose My Soul

Well these are the songs I am listening to.
Instead of taging others why not just let you all tell what songs you listen to now. feel free to comment and let evey one know what songs you like.
Thanks for visiting and take care.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Love Vs. Lust



Hello Ladies and Gents,
While I was surfing the net, I came across the age old question, is my relation based on love or lust? While many may search out the top ten reasons. I find that the top ten are very flawed, they are generalized and lack any real depth. So I decided to look deeper then just the top ways to know. Lets start with some definitions the best way to classify something is to give it a definition. You can find definitions by doing a simple web search.

Definitions
Love - is the unconditional acceptance of all things as they are.
To alter or expand them by contributing to them in a loving way
Creates blessings. To alter, judge or limit them by force or fear
Creates burdens which you must carry, experience or learn from.

Lust - is wanting something that you can't have, taking something
that isn't yours, (through acquisition, force, coercion or manipulation),
and believing in something that isn't loving, (like domination, control
or sacrifice (not self)).

Biblical perspective on love vs lust
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 sums up the common traits and variances of love and lust.
LOVE is kind = considerate, caring, giving, thoughtful, understanding
LOVE is not proud = humble, submissive, meek, modest
LOVE rejoices in the truth = God is love, Love is God = Wisdom, Holy Spirit, Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Lust is envy = jealous, greed, spite, resentment,
Lust is self-seeking = selfish, rebellious, rude, egotistical, hateful,
Lust delights in evil = Satan, sin, wicked, iniquitous, immoral, dishonest

Now that we have the definitions of love and lust lets look at the cultural view of it in our time
The US has many ways to sell items the most profit selling tool is lust. Show a woman half nude and guys will buy the magazine because he can’t control his base desires, because of lack of discipline. Whoooops I said discipline, that is taboo in today’s culture. Parents give their unruly kids a spanking and HELLO the child services are all over them. is not discipline a form of love also? Teaching your kids how to respect others and authority, I’m not talking about walking in the door and giving your kid a shiner or a nice square kick to the ribs but a ferm swat to the butt because of a legitimate reason. Not out of anger or frustration but out of wanting to teach the kid a lesson. If he is unruly he will be spanked to help him not be unruly. Simple but very effective. I speak from many, many, MANY spanking or laying on of hands sessions where i was the offeneder not the spanker. Love of your children is one thing that is very profound. The love a mother or father has for thier child is like nothing else. You want the best for them, better then what you have, you worry if they are sick or in trouble. You will do all you can to keep the child from danger or harm of any sort. That is a parent’s love. As for lust in this area ok sicko go get some counseling and leave them kids alone.

Ok back to our love vs. lust for relationships, our culture has a superficial and selfish view of love, which has contaminated our understanding of what REAL LOVE is. The culture believes that love is something that makes us FEEL good and that it's acceptable to sacrifice moral principles to obtain such love. But in doing so this culture IS NOT obtaining the love characteristic but the lustful ones.

Love involves unselfish acts. Faith is the foundation of God's message. By putting our complete faith in God gives us the freedom to love others completely.



We have talked about love a little and since we more often lust before we love lets look at lust.
Acting out lustful desires is very harmful in four ways.
1. Lustful desires destroys marriage
2. Lustfulness is rebelliousness to God
3. Lustfulness always hurts someone
4. Lustful acts lead to premarital sex

If lustful desires are in our thoughts, then they most likely will come out in our actions!
Lustful thinking can turn into
Premarital sex which can lead to genital/ sexual diseases or lack of sexual interest with spouse or both which will quite often lead to Adultery and end in divorce. And many people wonder why our divorce rate is so high both in and out of the church. I admit people are not perfect, but if you love some one you will do all you can to be with that one person for the rest of your life. I heard an old phrase long ago “if you got a gourmet meal at home why settle for a quick bite.” This rings true now more then ever, if you have a loving woman or man at home. Why settle for a quicky when you can have something far more satisfying at home waiting for you?

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis, men a little more then women I fear. God doesn't forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people lives physically and spiritually and emotionally. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral sexual desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful desires than Him. It hurts us because after a couple has sex things may be weird for a little bit after sex because you just gave each other something so unique and special. If you’re out side of a marriage then you just gave it to some one who may not respect the gift.

The more I think about it, when we meet someone for the first time or see someone from across the room and we see something we like. We are able to start lusting for them but is this how all relationships start? First we see someone then we get to know them, we build on the relationship from friends but some where we are faced with lustful desires. I know from my past, even now, I struggle with lustful desires. Though I love My Queen with all my heart and when she is not talking to me or has some thing she must work out on her own, I long to help her and I miss her so much, I’m on the verge of despair. Because I want to be with her so very much not in a sexual way, though that is most defiantly there, but for her emotionally, spiritually, physically and in every way a husband wants to be there for his bride. When she says I need time to get over some thing I dread it because I miss her so, not for my self but because I miss her voice and laughter, hearing how our daughter is doing and the inner play between the two of them. I desire more then anything to be there with them to help and love them. So how many times have you truly been loved? Is your past relationships and current relationship lust or love?

Just because I like to drive in points, here are some ways to know if it is love or lust.
Love is patient. Sometimes sex sounds like love, but it's not.
Lust can't wait; it's impulsive.

Love is kind.
Lust is cruel, critical, manipulative.

Love does not envy. "I need you" isn't the same as "I will be here for you."
Lust seeks more than it earns.

Love does not boast.
Lust builds self at another's expense.

Love is not proud. "I want you" doesn't mean "I want to give my life to you.”
Lust is easily threatened.

Love is not rude.
Lust is disrespectful and thoughtless.

Love is not self-seeking. "You're gorgeous" doesn't mean" I love you for who God made you to be."
Lust is demanding and uncaring.

Love is not easily angered.
Lust is temperamental and retaliates.

Love keeps no record of wrong. "I'll be gentle" is not the same as" I care about your heart and feelings."
Lust does not forget offenses.

Love does not delight in evil.
Lust commits wrong to get its own way; it rationalizes

Love rejoices in the truth. "It feels good" doesn't mean "I want you to feel good about yourself after it's over."
Lust encourages lies and covers misdeeds.

Love always protects.
Lust takes to gain its own end and lacks concern for others.

Love always trusts "Everybody's doing it" does not mean "I want to do it God's way." Lust is suspicious and jealous.

Love always hopes.
Lust always takes chances at your expense.

Love always perseveres. "You're so good, I want you now" isn't the same as "You're so good, I’m willing to wait."
Lust backs out when it's no longer convenient.

Love never fails; it's constant and enduring.
Lust ceases when self is no longer served; it's fickle, insecure, unfaithful.

I hope you have found this helpful and leave comments if you’re inclined.



A Personal note to My Queen.
My Dearest Queen, My Love,
I Daffodil 2 you are well. I miss you so very much, Jasmine (Carolina) from you is Cypress 1 to me. When I gaze upon your Alyssum, I praise God for the Amaryllis gem, He has blessed me with. Chrysanthemum (red) you My Queen. I am Althea for you.
With every breath with in me I am Camellia (pink). (Milk-Vetch), I miss you so much and hope to hear from you soon. Rose(Austrian) to me.
God Bless You and Our lil’ Angel.
Rose (Montiflora),
Ken

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

a black poem

My Queen sent me this. I thought it was cool and I wanted to share it.
the original author is RuNell Ni Ebo
the original poem can be found at http://www.geocities.com/smootht.geo/RuNellNiEbo.html
as for the author of this version i do not know.

The Black Prayer This is deep, so take your time.

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....Lord ....
Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...
Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone who receives the hated stare?
Black is the color of the bruised eyewhen someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,black is the color of dirt.
Why is my bone structure so thick,my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,and not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skinand think I should be abused?
Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate meand not know the person within?
Black is what people are "Labeled"when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like myskin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!
Lord, don't you thinkit's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creationand make everyone the same?

God's Reply:
Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?
I made you in the color of coalfrom which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,the black gold which keeps people warm.
Your color is the same as the rich dark soilthat grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion andpanther,
Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
All colors of the heavenly rainbowcan be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!
Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!
You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!
You are the color of dark cloudsfrom the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!
Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!
So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!