Welcome to Romance and Relationship

This blog is where we talk about romance and relationships.

We can talk about relationships in general or interracial relationships. My main focus is on interracial relationships.

I hope to make this a site for people to come and get advice, share stories and so on.

Feel free to leave comments on my blog and how I might make it better.

Thanks for visiting Have a great day and God Bless

from movie "Something New"

Friday, January 1, 2010

Things Are Progressing!



Hello All,

Well things have been moving very, very fast for me. I have been so busy the last few months. Here is a recap… I got in to an accident thank God no one was hurt and no one was given a ticket. Work allowed me to keep my job and position. My wife and I are both looking forward to college. She starts in a few days I will start next semester. I have a lot of things to do like get my immunization records and pay my application fee and so on. Things with my wife and I are going great we learn new things about each other every day. Some things drive each of us up a wall but most we stand in awe of one another. It is truly amazing how different we are but that is also a major attraction.

Being a new father is really new but I love my daughter so very much. We all just got back from a wedding of one of my wife’s friends. Ii danced with both my wife and my daughter. Life is truly amazing. I went from being a lonely man who lives with his parents helping them with many tasks, to being a husband, father, son, and son in law. In just one year. Now it is 2010 and in refection I have been blessed to have a woman who loves me, a daughter who looks up to me, a family that has grown larger. I hope this New Year I gain more friends, gain more intelligence, and fitness, and that I will be a better husband, father, and friend. I also hope all of you are Blessed this year.

God Bless You All.

Ken

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Hello Every One,

Sorry for the late post of the pics. I just got time and here thay are. Well some of them we have about 600 pics to pick from lol. The first pic is of me and my best man Brett.






The second one is of me and My Queen getting married by her dad.




















The third one is my family











The Wedding party Brett, me, My Queen and Bride's maid Stephanie.



The Kiss.








Over all this has been one of the longest waits I have ever had but the best part is that I married my true love and we are working together to build a life of love and joy. hope you enjoyed the pictures. God Bless.



here are some more pictures to enjoy.



True Love Does Exist. God Bless.








Tuesday, August 18, 2009

After Wedding Day

Well it is now after the wedding day and I will get some pictures as soon as possible.
over all things went relitively smooth. My best man and his wife worked hard prehaps to hard. the cake topper of me kept falling down and we had an over abundant amount of chairs. but when I saw My Queen walk out of the tent and walk down the asile. I was awe struck. She was so beautiful. over all things at the wedding were great. I'll post more when I'm able. God Bless.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Hello All,
Well sorry I have not been able to post recently. I have been spending alot of time with My Queen and My Lil' Angel. I do have some news.

Her dad said Yes it just took two months and him seeing how we are together, and of course me moving across country for her. lol. Anyway he said yes I could marry My Queen and that very day I asked My Queen to marry me.

planing a wedding is so crazy especially when you don't have money. but we have set the date. it's August 8th, 2009. The place is in washington state. We have the tickets but everything else is up in the air at this time. I'm going to see about working at day labor for some extra cash.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

In Florida with My Queen

Hello All,

Well I now am in Florida it took 4 days of hard driving and seeing My Queen for the first time in months was amazing. She meet me and helped guide me to my appartment. I now have internet and hope to start blogging soon. I am working but sadly I am not getting the hours I want and need so I am looking to start a second job soon. any way I hope all of you are blessed.
bye for now.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just a few Words

This topic is close to my heart. I have been in more long distance relationships then close, and let me tell you it is not easy. Recently My Queen and I have been in a 3000 mile relationship, which we have been in for over a year. In many ways log distance romances are incredibly hard. To make it work both people need to encourage each other and to be there for each other far more then if they were close to each other. In a close relationship you can hold your partner and tell them everything is going to be all right. But in a long distance you have to think out side the box and give encouragement in different ways. Sending flowers is good but it only helps a little, spending a lot of time listening to each other is very helpful, especially if you are giving encouragement with every talk. Being able to webcam is very effective. But how does one deal with the hold me impulse. All one can do is endure it, find a pillow or item your partner gave you and squeeze it. Dealing with long distance is not easy. You have to take everything day to day and endure the distance and time. Make time to spend with your loved one and still deal with life around you.
A typical day for me is waking up calling My Queen, then praying, then working around the house till My Queen calls me from her work, then work on some small projects, until My Queen calls me again before she goes to class, then I just relax a bit, rest and do what ever until My Queen calls me when she is out of class. At the end of the day I have spent most of the time on the phone with My Queen. This lets her know I am interested in her life and happenings that I am willing to put everything on hold. When I am at work I do my job but I still try and give as much time to her as possible. Many times we both get busy and have to forgo a day or so till we can reconnect. Telling everything about your day helps the relationship grow stronger and even builds trust. When we treat every talk like a date it helps to further the relationship but it still takes doing things a day at a time. Hardships arise when your in a long distance relationship that many times you can’t control. Many fears, many worries. But if both of you work and endure the time the rewards of building that relationship long distance will show in your close one. I am soon moving to Florida I will be there around or before March 13th. When I get to Florida I am looking forward to building on the ground work we have and expanding My Queen and my relationship to new highs neither of us have ever had. We will adapt from long distance to close distance and grow because of it. If you can endure a long distance relationship dealing with the loneliness, the want, the desire, and all of the emotions that run rapid over you. Then being close will be different but easier. Planning dates will be an adventure and will allow you to learn more about each other and of the area. Working and finding time to get together will be a challenge because you will want to spend all of your time with your partner. Calling is still going to happen but you may talk for only a few minuets rather then five hours. Just to set up a date or time to see one another. Basically what I am saying is that no matter what relationship you’re in you have to encourage each other and think out side the box and the transitions from one stage of your relationship to another should be seen as a building of your relationship. Every one goes through hardships but enduring them has greater rewards then just starting over or giving up. when your in a long distance relationship you have to look past the physical and look at the heart of the person. This is what should take place in what ever relationship you are in. take each day as a gift and look at the heart of the people you interact with. Some may repulse you others may attract you but if you are only looking at the physical then you will miss out on a whole lot more.
May God Bless You and Yours.
Ken

I am going to be off line for a while because of the move. When I get internet back I will post again. In the mean time I hope you all grow in your relationships and find the one Go has for you. God Bless

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How to treat a nice guy

I was recently told that when a woman has been dogged out all her life by men, when she gets a good man, she don’t know how to act. This has many implications she don’t know how to treat him, she messes up, she just can’t figure out what he wants. Well let me explain this one so it is clear (I hope). When some one is treated bad in their relationships they build up walls defenses that they use to protect them selves. One of the things the new relationship has to do is be patient and let the woman bring down the defenses. After that the woman can start to be guided and then freed from the past. yes she will still have some times when she is haunted by the experiences but that is where more patients is needed.
As for how to treat him Everyone has heard of the golden rule right? treat others the way you want to be treated. It applies here too. If you want to be treated like a Queen then treat your man like a King. I’m not saying everything will be perfect, but I am saying that when women treat men with respect, love, admiration. the man will have what he wants. Now for the she messes up- Relationships take work on both parts. When hard times come, be honest and straight up. show respect to each other and don’t play games. Playing games only leads to being alone.
Building a relationship takes all our lives. it is not just a few years and then you can sit back and enjoy the ride. There are ups and downs every one must face. This is when you truly know you love one another if you can weather the storms of life. The blessings you will reap after the storms are worth enduring them. But you must be mindful of the dangers. Don’t be naive and put your self in situations where you will end up hurting each other. Think and be mindful of the way things are heading. Many times people put them selves in situations that they don’t mean to be in but because they become complacent and think they are untouchable they traverse the dangers and more often then not they get bit. Many times to the destruction of the relationship they wish to hold on to. But if you endure and show grace, compassion, mercy basically Love you will have a stronger relationship then ever before. I hope all of you are able to endure the hard times as well as be overjoyed with the good times of your relationships.

God Bless You and Yours

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Best Things in Life are Free!!!

Hello All,
It seems that in life people like to coin the phrase "the best things in life are free", but I wonder if they have really thought things through. I mean nothing in life is free, not even breathing. Yes we breath but the cost is the carbon dyoxide in our lungs being exchanged for fresh oxygen.
On Christmas we have a cost as well. God gave his son to die for us. so how is it free to have salvation when it cost another his life? Granted Jesus layed down his life for us willingly but it did still cost. So it maybe "free to us" but it cost the Blood of the only perfect man.
My point is this: many times we over simplify or choose to disregard the cost because the cost does not affect us directly.
This time of year people give more and pass it off as doing good works but then after the holiday is over they go back to the "me" set of mind. I know I tend to think of me more through the year but I still try to be others minded. I think this is an example of the war we fight within relationships as well. When we make choices do we consiter the others in our lives or do we just look at what pleases us only. I'm not saying some "me" time is bad we all need "me" time to some extent, but to have the others mind frame would make things better I think. Sometimes being a blessing to another is the best gift we can give, but it costs us time and energy to give to the other, so even then it is not free.
Maybe I'm looking to deep in to things or maybe not deep enough but just a though that came to me today as Christmas came to be.
Merry Christmas May God Bless You Greatly.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Hello All sorry for the absence.

Hey All,
well things have been busy. the winter this year has been cold lately. I have been able to spend time with a friend and his wife inbetween working and taking care of the house. I'm looking to leave Washington in April and to be in Florida by mid April. things with My Queen and I are ever Growing and thriving. We miss one another but we both know we are worth the wait. I completed the supervisor qualifications at my work so now I am a Professional Security Officer.

I have been reading the news and I have a question: When did a 9 year old boy get the term "ladies' man" I have not read his book but it seems to be rather ironic to me. So who has read the book on relationships from a 9 year old? What did you think?

I give props to the young man but i find it humorous he found the material for his book on the playground. so what are your thoughts?

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Plans of Mice and Men

Hello Everyone,
Well the second job is finally over and I was able to save up almost all the money I needed. Sadly the best laid plans of mice and men happened and I had to spend quite a lot to get my transmission rebuilt. It seems I had no second gear oh well at least I will have a great running truck when I drive cross country to be with My Queen.
I’m hoping to be moving in March or April to Florida. Anyway not much else happened and I was able to retain some of the money I just have to save up some more and I should have enough to get there and start a new life there. I’m hoping to start writing again and who knows maybe work on a book.
Since thanks giving and Christmas are around the corner I would like to say something about Family.
Family is a funny thing no matter how much they annoy you, you always let it slide for the most part. Their family what can you do. I say this because it seems like my parents are being driven nuts by me wanting to be with My Queen, My brother has not graced us with his presence in over 7 years and my sister and her husband are driving each other nuts. But hey that’s family. No matter how much we drive each other nuts we are willing to forgive and forget as long as it is not too far. But I have heard of brothers taking another brothers girlfriend and even worst stuff and all I can say is any one who would take your brother over you or your sister over you is not worthy of you. But I thank God every day I have a beautiful, amazing Black Woman who can endure a lot and still keep on. So props to all of the strong Black women who can endure hardships and still love.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Final Blow Out

Hello All,
Well as you can guess from the title there was a blow out at work. Mike decided to dishonor my Queen with racial undertones and I called him a name reserved for female dogs. He got mad got in my face and when I did not back down he took a swing which in sued in a fight. After some time of me not backing down and him throwing punches and kicks, he started trying to headbutt me. He tried kicking me in the groin, the leg and so on but when it did not work he started other low handed tactics. The only real blow from him a headbutt, broke my nose. After that the higher ups were notified and he was fired. Police were called and reports filed.
The police say I started the fight for calling him a name and that we both may be charged with disorderly conduct. Now where is the justice? he can getaway with saying “your girl is ugly because she is black.” And that is not merit for starting a fight! When did lawlessness and dishonor become part of out police force?
Anyway I defended My Queens honor and thankfully I still have a job. My nose will heal fine and the trouble maker is gone. Life goes on and the best part My Queen was flattered that I fought for her honor.
Well that’s all for now. Take care and watch out for what you say Cops may arrest you for it with some garbage charge.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Trouble in the work place.

Hello All,
ever have one of those days when all you want to do is go to work, do your job and go home. Yeah me too, sadly for the past few weeks I have been hounded by a guy names mike. first it was becuse i was a secutity guard then about my hair then about whatever he could find. latly though he has been even worse going off about things and even calling others a offensive term for a Black person. Which of corse I am not a fan of rasist to begin with. I reported him to my supervisor. so we will see what happens.
As a man I want to brake every bone in his body and leave him in a ditch, but as a Christian I am trying not to fight the guy and turn the other cheek. I always wonder why people act in ways they do in Mikes case I think it was partially from birth and then mix in the heavy drugs he has braged about taking. Some times people just confuse me.
Over all the second job is going ok I'm tired alot and having to deal with mike is not helping the situation. I wonder why some people don't just do thier job and go home and relax and play. Why make it harder for every one around you by playing at work and not doing the work? When I'm home i'm relaxing and playing but when I'm at work I'm at work.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Ask Ken Section


Hello All,

Here is your section to ask me Questions get advice and what ever you want. feel free to comment about what ever is on your mind, love, life, whatever.


One thing though- please be clean I would not like to have to delete comments because they were to vulgar or demeaning to others. other then that have a blast and let the communication flow.

Giving an update




Hello All,


well things have been going great for My Queen and I. My Queen came to visit me in August and things were simply Amazing. I truly did not want her to go back to Florida. Sadly she did because of the responsibilities she has there. Not to worry though we will be together soon God Willing. I took alot of pictures of My Queen and My Little Angel. that i have posted a few here.


Further News - Well I asked her dad for her hand in marriage, he took time to think about it and then said for us to wait till i moved down there. So in responce to this i am working two jobs and saving as much as I can to get down to My Queen. Other then that I am just taking care of my responcibilities here trying to sell my house to my parents and pay off my truck and then move to Florida.




The second job thing is going well so far but it makes me tired and what not so sorry if i'm not posting like normal. if you still want advice about things i am still here, just send me an email or post it in the ask Ken section I am setting up.
Well I Hope to hear from you and hope you have many Blessings upon you.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Adding Meaning, Adds Romance

Over the years I have learned to add meaning to most if not all of what I do for my girlfriend. Getting a gift of flowers for instance is a great thing but getting the flowers that have very specific meanings add more romance to the flowers and thus creates more intimacy with my girlfriend. In life every thing has a meaning. Applying a meaning to something is fairly simple; it just depends on how you want to add it or what you want to say.

You may have noticed a message I left for my Queen a few post ago. This message can only be interpreted by My Queen because she has the key to decipher it.

As I said everything has a meaning so let’s look at flowers, colors, then gifts them selves.

Flowers are one of the best ways to say something to someone you love. Each flower has its own meaning. So you can easily create a special message for someone by looking at the meaning and then just picking up the flower.
There are plenty of web sites that give meanings of flowers when you do a google search for meanings of flowers. Some web sites are;
http://www.aboutflowers.com/floral_b5.html
http://www.iflorist.com/en/act/meaning/
http://www.juneauempire.com/weddings/story/beauty/flowersmeanings.shtml

I have found that adding a special message to your loved one not only lets them know you love them but you can basically say anything you wish to them good or bad.

You could also create your own meanings to flowers and then make a code for your loved one to decipher this shows you put a lot of work in to a simple message that shows you have a vested interest in your loved one. Let’s face it when you are imaginative in your love life your love life is fun and exciting no matter what. Who don’t like getting a special message or knowing that only they can know the message once they decipher it?

When I was studding art in high school and college I learned that colors have meanings. You can use colors in your love life by what you wear or by the color of flowers you give or just be creative with how you use color. For those who are color blind, black and white and grey all have meanings as well, you can add your own meanings to each of them and then add other meanings based on what you get.
Let’s say you get a red rose that is thorn less. Since you can’t see the red but see a darker color ether black or a shade of grey, you can say the grayish black color means your timeless and stylish, the rose means “true love”, and the fact it’s thorn less could mean “you have no flaws to me” so the whole message could say “you’re a timeless, stylish, true love that has no flaws to me.” Simple sweet and very meaningful if given to and by someone you really love.

Colors can also affect some ones mood. Here are some meanings and mood affects for colors:

Black
Black is the color of authority and power. It is popular in fashion because it makes people appear thinner. It is also stylish and timeless. Black also implies submission. Priests wear black to signify submission to God. Some fashion experts say a woman wearing black implies submission to men. Black outfits can also be overpowering, or make the wearer seem aloof or evil. Villains, such as Dracula, often wear black.

White
Brides wear white to symbolize innocence and purity. White reflects light and is considered a summer color. White is popular in decorating and in fashion because it is light, neutral, and goes with everything. However, white shows dirt and is therefore more difficult to keep clean than other colors. Doctors and nurses wear white to imply sterility.

Red
The most emotionally intense color, red stimulates a faster heartbeat and breathing. It is also the color of love. Red clothing gets noticed and makes the wearer appear heavier. Since it is an extreme color, red clothing might not help people in negotiations or confrontations. Red cars are popular targets for thieves. In decorating, red is usually used as an accent. Decorators say that red furniture should be perfect since it will attract attention.

The most romantic color, pink, is more tranquilizing. Sports teams sometimes paint the locker rooms used by opposing teams bright pink so their opponents will lose energy.

Blue
The color of the sky and the ocean, blue is one of the most popular colors. It causes the opposite reaction as red. Peaceful, tranquil blue causes the body to produce calming chemicals, so it is often used in bedrooms. Blue can also be cold and depressing. Fashion consultants recommend wearing blue to job interviews because it symbolizes loyalty. People are more productive in blue rooms. Studies show weightlifters are able to handle heavier weights in blue gyms.

Green
Currently the most popular decorating color, green symbolizes nature. It is the easiest color on the eye and can improve vision. It is a calming, refreshing color. People waiting to appear on TV sit in "green rooms" to relax. Hospitals often use green because it relaxes patients. Brides in the Middle Ages wore green to symbolize fertility. Dark green is masculine, conservative, and implies wealth. However, seamstresses often refuse to use green thread on the eve of a fashion show for fear it will bring bad luck.

Yellow
Cheerful sunny yellow is an attention getter. While it is considered an optimistic color, people lose their tempers more often in yellow rooms, and babies will cry more. It is the most difficult color for the eye to take in, so it can be overpowering if overused. Yellow enhances concentration, hence its use for legal pads. It also speeds metabolism.

Purple
The color of royalty, purple connotes luxury, wealth, and sophistication. It is also feminine and romantic. However, because it is rare in nature, purple can appear artificial.

Brown
Solid, reliable brown is the color of earth and is abundant in nature. Light brown implies genuineness while dark brown is similar to wood or leather. Brown can also be sad and wistful. Men are more apt to say brown is one of their favorite colors.

Colors of the Flag
In the U.S. flag, white stands for purity and innocence. Red represents valor and hardiness, while blue signifies justice, perseverance, and vigilance. The stars represent the heavens and all the good that people strive for, while the stripes emulate the sun's rays.

Food for Thought
While blue is one of the most popular colors it is one of the least appetizing. Blue food is rare in nature. Food researchers say that when humans searched for food, they learned to avoid toxic or spoiled objects, which were often blue, black, or purple. When food dyed blue is served to study subjects, they lose appetite.

Green, brown, and red are the most popular food colors. Red is often used in restaurant decorating schemes because it is an appetite stimulant.

Well there you have a nice little list of what colors mean and how they affect your mood. Now let’s look at gifts.
Gifts can be simple or elaborate ether way adding meaning to them makes them timeless and sentimental. If you give your girlfriend a necklace add some kind of meaning to it. Lets say you get a diamond necklace this is easy diamonds are “a girls best friend” right? So you could get the necklace in a shape your girlfriend will like a favorite animal or a heart or what ever. Then just think about how long you have been together get enough diamonds for each year or make it a mixed necklace. Say you and your girlfriend have been together for 5 years two of the years were spent apart. So you get her a diamond necklace with three nicely cut diamonds and two other stones your girlfriend likes. Then the necklace means the time way from you were emeralds and the time together are diamonds. The biggest stone is of her favorite animal or heart and is a diamond. So now not only does it mean something about your relationship it also means something more to her because you remembered her favorite animal or you gave your heart to her.

Well I hope you have found this insightful and useful. When in a relationship be creative and think of what your partner’s favorite things are and make your gifts and flowers and so on tailored to give romance to your relationship. It takes time but what is a little time out of your day to give joy to the one you love?

Sorry I've been away

Hello Everyone sorry i have not posted anything or been around for a while. things have been rather crazy at my home. in short i have been going to and from hospitals and doctors for my parents, working on the house and finding time to be with My Queen. over all I have been busy. I will try to post some thing new soon I hope you all are doing great. God Bless.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

The Rules"List seven songs that you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they're not any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying now, shaping your spring/summer. Post these instructions in your blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they're listening to."

7 Songs I'm listening to right now......
1. Rebecca St. James - Wait for Me
2. Duawne Starling - With This Ring
3. Ambasitor - Love Song
4. UB40 - The way you doThe things you do
5. Mercy Me - No More No Less
6. Craig David - Can't Be Messing around
7. Toby Mac - Lose My Soul

Well these are the songs I am listening to.
Instead of taging others why not just let you all tell what songs you listen to now. feel free to comment and let evey one know what songs you like.
Thanks for visiting and take care.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Love Vs. Lust



Hello Ladies and Gents,
While I was surfing the net, I came across the age old question, is my relation based on love or lust? While many may search out the top ten reasons. I find that the top ten are very flawed, they are generalized and lack any real depth. So I decided to look deeper then just the top ways to know. Lets start with some definitions the best way to classify something is to give it a definition. You can find definitions by doing a simple web search.

Definitions
Love - is the unconditional acceptance of all things as they are.
To alter or expand them by contributing to them in a loving way
Creates blessings. To alter, judge or limit them by force or fear
Creates burdens which you must carry, experience or learn from.

Lust - is wanting something that you can't have, taking something
that isn't yours, (through acquisition, force, coercion or manipulation),
and believing in something that isn't loving, (like domination, control
or sacrifice (not self)).

Biblical perspective on love vs lust
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 sums up the common traits and variances of love and lust.
LOVE is kind = considerate, caring, giving, thoughtful, understanding
LOVE is not proud = humble, submissive, meek, modest
LOVE rejoices in the truth = God is love, Love is God = Wisdom, Holy Spirit, Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

Lust is envy = jealous, greed, spite, resentment,
Lust is self-seeking = selfish, rebellious, rude, egotistical, hateful,
Lust delights in evil = Satan, sin, wicked, iniquitous, immoral, dishonest

Now that we have the definitions of love and lust lets look at the cultural view of it in our time
The US has many ways to sell items the most profit selling tool is lust. Show a woman half nude and guys will buy the magazine because he can’t control his base desires, because of lack of discipline. Whoooops I said discipline, that is taboo in today’s culture. Parents give their unruly kids a spanking and HELLO the child services are all over them. is not discipline a form of love also? Teaching your kids how to respect others and authority, I’m not talking about walking in the door and giving your kid a shiner or a nice square kick to the ribs but a ferm swat to the butt because of a legitimate reason. Not out of anger or frustration but out of wanting to teach the kid a lesson. If he is unruly he will be spanked to help him not be unruly. Simple but very effective. I speak from many, many, MANY spanking or laying on of hands sessions where i was the offeneder not the spanker. Love of your children is one thing that is very profound. The love a mother or father has for thier child is like nothing else. You want the best for them, better then what you have, you worry if they are sick or in trouble. You will do all you can to keep the child from danger or harm of any sort. That is a parent’s love. As for lust in this area ok sicko go get some counseling and leave them kids alone.

Ok back to our love vs. lust for relationships, our culture has a superficial and selfish view of love, which has contaminated our understanding of what REAL LOVE is. The culture believes that love is something that makes us FEEL good and that it's acceptable to sacrifice moral principles to obtain such love. But in doing so this culture IS NOT obtaining the love characteristic but the lustful ones.

Love involves unselfish acts. Faith is the foundation of God's message. By putting our complete faith in God gives us the freedom to love others completely.



We have talked about love a little and since we more often lust before we love lets look at lust.
Acting out lustful desires is very harmful in four ways.
1. Lustful desires destroys marriage
2. Lustfulness is rebelliousness to God
3. Lustfulness always hurts someone
4. Lustful acts lead to premarital sex

If lustful desires are in our thoughts, then they most likely will come out in our actions!
Lustful thinking can turn into
Premarital sex which can lead to genital/ sexual diseases or lack of sexual interest with spouse or both which will quite often lead to Adultery and end in divorce. And many people wonder why our divorce rate is so high both in and out of the church. I admit people are not perfect, but if you love some one you will do all you can to be with that one person for the rest of your life. I heard an old phrase long ago “if you got a gourmet meal at home why settle for a quick bite.” This rings true now more then ever, if you have a loving woman or man at home. Why settle for a quicky when you can have something far more satisfying at home waiting for you?

Sexual immorality is a temptation we all must face on a daily basis, men a little more then women I fear. God doesn't forbid sexual sins just to be difficult. God knows its power to destroy people lives physically and spiritually and emotionally. God wants to protect us from damaging ourselves with immoral sexual desires. Sex outside of the marriage relationship always hurts someone. It hurts God because it shows that we care more about our own lustful desires than Him. It hurts us because after a couple has sex things may be weird for a little bit after sex because you just gave each other something so unique and special. If you’re out side of a marriage then you just gave it to some one who may not respect the gift.

The more I think about it, when we meet someone for the first time or see someone from across the room and we see something we like. We are able to start lusting for them but is this how all relationships start? First we see someone then we get to know them, we build on the relationship from friends but some where we are faced with lustful desires. I know from my past, even now, I struggle with lustful desires. Though I love My Queen with all my heart and when she is not talking to me or has some thing she must work out on her own, I long to help her and I miss her so much, I’m on the verge of despair. Because I want to be with her so very much not in a sexual way, though that is most defiantly there, but for her emotionally, spiritually, physically and in every way a husband wants to be there for his bride. When she says I need time to get over some thing I dread it because I miss her so, not for my self but because I miss her voice and laughter, hearing how our daughter is doing and the inner play between the two of them. I desire more then anything to be there with them to help and love them. So how many times have you truly been loved? Is your past relationships and current relationship lust or love?

Just because I like to drive in points, here are some ways to know if it is love or lust.
Love is patient. Sometimes sex sounds like love, but it's not.
Lust can't wait; it's impulsive.

Love is kind.
Lust is cruel, critical, manipulative.

Love does not envy. "I need you" isn't the same as "I will be here for you."
Lust seeks more than it earns.

Love does not boast.
Lust builds self at another's expense.

Love is not proud. "I want you" doesn't mean "I want to give my life to you.”
Lust is easily threatened.

Love is not rude.
Lust is disrespectful and thoughtless.

Love is not self-seeking. "You're gorgeous" doesn't mean" I love you for who God made you to be."
Lust is demanding and uncaring.

Love is not easily angered.
Lust is temperamental and retaliates.

Love keeps no record of wrong. "I'll be gentle" is not the same as" I care about your heart and feelings."
Lust does not forget offenses.

Love does not delight in evil.
Lust commits wrong to get its own way; it rationalizes

Love rejoices in the truth. "It feels good" doesn't mean "I want you to feel good about yourself after it's over."
Lust encourages lies and covers misdeeds.

Love always protects.
Lust takes to gain its own end and lacks concern for others.

Love always trusts "Everybody's doing it" does not mean "I want to do it God's way." Lust is suspicious and jealous.

Love always hopes.
Lust always takes chances at your expense.

Love always perseveres. "You're so good, I want you now" isn't the same as "You're so good, I’m willing to wait."
Lust backs out when it's no longer convenient.

Love never fails; it's constant and enduring.
Lust ceases when self is no longer served; it's fickle, insecure, unfaithful.

I hope you have found this helpful and leave comments if you’re inclined.



A Personal note to My Queen.
My Dearest Queen, My Love,
I Daffodil 2 you are well. I miss you so very much, Jasmine (Carolina) from you is Cypress 1 to me. When I gaze upon your Alyssum, I praise God for the Amaryllis gem, He has blessed me with. Chrysanthemum (red) you My Queen. I am Althea for you.
With every breath with in me I am Camellia (pink). (Milk-Vetch), I miss you so much and hope to hear from you soon. Rose(Austrian) to me.
God Bless You and Our lil’ Angel.
Rose (Montiflora),
Ken

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

a black poem

My Queen sent me this. I thought it was cool and I wanted to share it.
the original author is RuNell Ni Ebo
the original poem can be found at http://www.geocities.com/smootht.geo/RuNellNiEbo.html
as for the author of this version i do not know.

The Black Prayer This is deep, so take your time.

Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ....Lord ....
Why did you make me black?
Why did you make someone the world would hold back?

Black is the color of dirty clothes,
of grimy hands and feet...
Black is the color of darkness,
of tired beaten streets...
Why did you give me thick lips,
a broad nose and kinky hair?
Why did you create someone who receives the hated stare?
Black is the color of the bruised eyewhen someone gets hurt...
Black is the color of darkness,black is the color of dirt.
Why is my bone structure so thick,my hips and cheeks so high?
Why are my eyes brown,and not the color of the sky?
Why do people think I'm useless?
How come I feel so used?
Why do people see my skinand think I should be abused?
Lord, I just don't understand...
What is it about my skin?
Why is it some people want to hate meand not know the person within?
Black is what people are "Labeled"when others want to keep them away...
Black is the color of shadows cast...
Black is the end of the day.
Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
and you know this just ain't right...
They don't like my hair, they don't like myskin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!
Lord, don't you thinkit's time to make a change?
Why don't you redo creationand make everyone the same?

God's Reply:
Why did I make you black? Why did I make you black?
I made you in the color of coalfrom which beautiful diamonds are formed...
I made you in the color of oil,the black gold which keeps people warm.
Your color is the same as the rich dark soilthat grows the food you need...
Your color is the same as the black stallion andpanther,
Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
All colors of the heavenly rainbowcan be found throughout every nation...
When all these colors are blended,
you become my greatest creation!
Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
such a beautiful creature is he...
I am the shepherd who watches them,
I will ALWAYS watch over thee!
You are the color of the midnight sky,
I put star glitter in your eyes...
There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
That's why your cheeks are so high!
You are the color of dark cloudsfrom the hurricanes I create in September...
I made your lips so full and thick,
so when you kiss...they will remember!
Your stature is strong,
your bone structure thick to withstand the burden of time...
The reflection you see in the mirror,
that image that looks back, that is MINE!
So get off your knees,
look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
I made you in the image of ME!

Monday, May 26, 2008

What Do Women Want to Know???



Hello All,

I want to get an idea of what women want to know about men and what men think they want to know. Anything and everything is open for discussion. If you feel your topic is to personal, my email link is on my profile, so if you are so inclined you can contact me that way. This is your chance ladies to get all the answers, if I can give them to you.


Your questions and situations may relate to other topics or questions other women have, but are not sure how to put them in to words so please ask any and all questions you have.


This is your time Ladies let the questions, stories, and situations flow. If you send an email and only want me to email you back please let me know.


Thank you in advance.